Dating christains

Dating often isolates us from other Christians in our lives. The closer we become with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the more removed we are from other important relationships. Satan loves this, and encourages it at every turn. One way to walk wisely in dating is to oppose absolutely everything Satan might want for you. Christian Dating For Free, CDFF, is the largest and best free Christian dating site for Christian singles in the world. Our service features both iOS and Android free dating apps as well as a desktop and mobile website. Unlike paid sites, it is 100% free to communicate with every single Christian member you see on CDFF. For Christian singles, dating in groups or in public and not at hours where any potentially bad situations could arise is the right, smart and practical thing to do. Christian Dating Rule #7: Cultivate the right desires. Often, Christian dating rules don’t take into account that the desire to be married is not only real but very good. Free Christian dating sites that offer unlimited matching and messaging have blessed the lives of millions of single Christians all around the globe.Almost 31% of the 6.9 billion people in this world identify as Christian, but that doesn’t mean meeting Christian date prospects is a cakewalk. For one thing, not all of them are single. […] Looking for the best Christian dating sites? We’ve got them right here. Our dating experts have spent countless hours navigating different dating websites and dating apps in search of the ones that can actually live up to the promise of connecting single Christians online. And we’ve found quite a few keepers.Some of these online dating sites cater to a Christian-only crowd, while others ... Cons: This is dating site meant for Christians wanting to date other Christians, which excludes those of other faiths. #6 – Crosspaths Crosspaths is the largest and most trusted Christian dating app connecting Christian Singles worldwide…This Christian matchmaking dating app was developed with the latest technology to analyze thousands of ... ChristianMingle is an obvious choice for the number two spot on this list of the best Christian dating apps. The brand’s very name is a testament to its commitment to the Christian community. Sparks Network — which is responsible for JDate and Adventist singles, among others — launched ChristianMingle in 2001 to be a beacon of light for Christians searching for a lasting marriage.

I'm so confused and don't know where to turn

2020.09.03 10:16 justa_jellyfish I'm so confused and don't know where to turn

So many times in life I've wondered "well what if I were a guy then I could date girls, but I still like boys too" and then my christain conservative raised self broke free and learned what bisexuality was and I'm bisexual, I came out as bi a couple years back and got mixed results. Some took it well, others well... they don't need to be in my life if they don't accept me for that. I'm happy as a bisexual.
So there, thought process over... right?
Nope. I still feel as if something is wrong. Like here's the thing, I'm surrounded by lgbtq+ people in my life. I keep telling myself that it's just in my head, after all I'm happy as a girl. Yet sometimes I feel like I'm not a girl. I've felt like this since I was younger. Maybe it's because I was forced into role the moment I could toddle, maybe it's because I didn't like that role. I'll admit I do feel feminine some days but... I don't know. I've thought sometimes "well what if i'm genderfluid" and it sounds right, but I'm also scared. Like i'm okay being called she/her, yet I also am extremely comfortable with he/him and they/them.
I keep thinking "what if I'm being a copycat, what if I'm just looking for attention" but for so long I've questioned myself. There are days I want to hide my chest, bind it down, make it disappear and there are days I want to look super feminine or days I feel really masculine.
This is the first time in my life I'm free to figure myself out free from toxic parents.
I don't feel as if I go through the struggles my nonbinary friends go through. I also feel like if I talk to them about this then they'll think I'm just making light of it all. In reality I can't stop crying over this. I'm scared to bring it up to my therapist even. Hell I haven't talked to anybody about this cause I've been going through life as a cis woman. I don't know what to do or think.
Edit: Often I feel like both??
submitted by justa_jellyfish to genderquestioning [link] [comments]


2020.08.19 09:39 Chris_R2001 Fanatasy booking the Straight Edge Society

Hell in a Cell 2009. CM Punk (C) def. The Undertaker - Hell in a Cell match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
CM Punk's feud with Undertaker is all the same at this point. In real life this was one of the worst Hell in a Cell match of all time imo so lets make it longer and not a squash match in Undertaker's favor here is where Luke Gallows debuts he runs down the cell starts trying to break in. Undertaker hits Punk with a tombstone 1..2.. the referee is distracted by Gallows, Undertaker stares at Gallows for a bit and then walks over the the cell door he and Gallows argue for a bit until, Undertaker breaks open the cell door drags Gallows in, throws him into the ring. CM Punk who has recovered hits The Undertaker with a GTS 1..2..3 CM Punk retains the title.

Bragging Rights 2009. CM Punk (Smackdown's World Heavyweight Champion) def. John Cena (Raw's WWE Champion) - Raw vs Smackdown Bragging Rights match.
On the October 9th 2009 episode of Smackdown Punk introduces Luke Gallows and talks about his new society of straight edge, he will allow people to join but they have to shave their heads in a sign of commitment to the cause.
CM Punk begins a mini feud with John Cena, this isn't a story of John Cena vs CM Punk its a story of Smackdown vs Raw and which is the dominant brand. CM Punk argues that Smackdown is better because he the straight edge superstar is at the top and he makes Smackdown more pure while John Cena claims Smackdown has always been in Raw's shadow (which is sort of true I won't lie). CM Punk tells Cena that he was made on Smackdown Cena argues his career really took off when he was on Raw (again true). The match is set up for Bragging Rights. Smackdown's World Champion vs Raw's WWE Champion. At the PPV CM Punk cheats his way past Cena.

Survivor Series 2009. The Undertaker def. CM Punk (C) - Casket match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Undertaker at Bragging Rights reunited with his brother Kane to represent Smackdown against D-Generation X who were representing Raw they lost but at the end of the show right after CM Punk has cheated his way to winning against Cena the lights go out, when they come back on CM Punk is staring down at an unconscious Luke Gallows and in the ring behind him is The Undertaker, Punk turns around and is given a chokeslam and a tombstone.
For weeks CM Punk & Luke Gallows are taunted by The Undertaker, Undertaker really wants his rematch for the title then on the final Smackdown before Survivor Series after CM Punk has won a main event match against some babyface, the lights go out, again Gallows is found unconscious at ringside and Undertaker is standing face to face with CM Punk. CM Punk backs up grabs the mic and says "Undertaker, Undertaker...you can have your match for the Heavyweight title at Survivor Series" Undertaker then does the throat slit and the lights go out again, this time CM Punk is on the ring apron being choked by Undertaker who says he wants a stipulation added to the match, CM Punk agrees for it to be a casket match.
At Survivor Series CM Punk finally gets his comeuppance and he loses the World Heavyweight Championship. He is put into a casket which is then burned (obviously Punk isn't still inside when the casket is lit on fire).

TLC 2009. CM Punk segment:
At TLC 2009 CM Punk doesn't have a match but he has a segment, where he talks about staying clean about straight edge, he even mentions Jeff Hardy and says "WWE is now more pure, cleaner and better now that Jeff Hardy is no longer here" he then offers a spot in the society to the fans then he handpicks a WWE diva posing as a fan Serena to get her head shaved and join the straight edge society.

Royal Rumble 2010. 30 Man Royal Rumble match for WWE or World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania, Winner - Edge.
CM Punk participates in the Royal Rumble as he did in real life and he cuts his promo where he talks about how he can lead the superstars to a better life until that segment is ended by Triple H who eliminates CM Punk from the Royal Rumble. Of course Edge returns and wins the Royal Rumble and faces Jericho at Wrestlemania.

Elimination Chamber 2010. Chris Jericho (C) def. The Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, John Morrison, CM Punk & Batista - 6 man Elimination Chamber match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
First things first, Jericho faces Undertaker & Batista for the WHC at the Royal Rumble and wins. Batista & Jericho are guaranteed entry into the Chamber match since Batista lost the title and Jericho is the champion. Punk, John Morrison, Rey Mysterio & Undertaker all qualify for the Chamber match. Rey eliminates Punk in the match and Jericho goes on to retain the WHC.

Wrestlemania 26. CM Punk def. Rey Mysterio - Singles match. Since Rey Mysterio lost he had to join the Straight Edge Society.
So I'd keep the build up to this match the same as it was in real life because that was good story except CM Punk wins and Rey Mysterio is forced to join the society and this is where the real fun begins.

BTW after this I take heavy inspiration from whatculture just with a good few changes.

Extreme Rules 2010. The Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows & Rey Mysterio) def. The Hart Dynasty (David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd) (C) - Ladder match for the Unified Tag Team Championships.
At first Rey Mysterio doesn't like being in the society, he's very hesitant and doesn't like CM Punk, Mysterio is being told all these things about being clean, being straight edge and how Mysterio is a better man for joining the society. Then he & Luke Gallows become number one contenders to the Unified Tag Team Champions. At Extreme Rules they have their match for the titles with the extreme stipulation being its a ladder match for the titles. Gallows & Mysterio win and they become the new Unified Tag Team Champions.

Over the Limit 2010. CM Punk def. Edge (C) - World Heavyweight Championship.
At Over the Limit. CM Punk becomes World Heavyweight Champion. In recent weeks Edge & Christian have started a feud with the S.E.S. Edge back at WM 26 defeats Chris Jericho to become World Heavyweight Champion and he reunites with the Intercontinental Champion Christain (who wins the title at Wrestlemania from Drew McIntyre). Edge & Christian really want to turn Rey Mysterio back into the light, however it soon becomes apparent that he has been turned, that's right Rey Mysterio turns heel, all the brainwashing has worked. Mysterio says CM Punk was right and now that he is straight edge, he is a more clean, more open man. Edge says so be it. CM Punk becomes number one contender and thanks to help from Rey Mysterio & Luke Gallows Punk become the World Heavyweight Champion.
Also at Over the Limit Luke & Rey retain the Unified Tag titles against the Hart Dyntasty Serena becomes Diva's Champion, so the S.E.S holds all the gold and to end off the show you have Punk, Mysterio, Gallows & Serena on the entrance ramp with their titles.

Fatal 4 way 2010. CM Punk (C) def. Edge, Christian & Rey Mysterio - Fatal 4 way for the World Heavyweight Championship.
So in the lead up to Fatal 4 way Edge & CM Punk carry on with their feud but since the next PPV is Fatal 4 way we need to have a fatal 4 way. Edge requests his rematch for the title and Punk is the champion so the 2 other spots are taken by Christian who qualifies after he pins Luke Gallows & Rey Mysterio. At one point the S.E.S even cost Christian the Intercontinental Championship further heightening the feud.
At Fatal 4 way Mysterio & Punk work together but you can tell Mysterio doesn't want to do it. At one point Edge, Christian & Punk are all down and Mysterio pins Punk 1..2.. the ref is pulled out of the ring by Luke Gallows. Gallows gets in the ring and asks Mysterio "what the hell are you doing?" Mysterio looks down at the ground in response. He then turns around into a spear by Edge, Edge is then given a beatdown by Gallows who places Punk on top of Mysterio and he wakes up the ref who counts 1..2..3.

Smackdown June 25th 2010. Edge & Christian def. The Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows & Rey Mysterio) (C) - Unified Tag Team Championships.
On the Smackdown after Fatal 4 way Mysterio publicly apologizes to CM Punk, Punk forces Mysterio to drink vinegar in sign of devotion, Mysterio really doesn't want to do it and this is interrupted by Edge & Christian who come out and confront CM Punk. Edge reveals he wants a 1 on 1 match with CM Punk tonight (referring to June 25th 2010 episode of Smackdown) Punk denies Edge because "you had your shot last Sunday and you failed" Edge then proceeds to tear apart CM Punk making fun of his hair, his cult and his straight edge beliefs. Punk tells Edge he can have his 1 on 1 match at Money in the Bank but only if he and Christian can capture the Unified Tag Team Championships. Edge accepts the challenges and he & Christian win the match that night becoming unified tag champs. Edge then tells Punk after the match "I'll see you at Money in the Bank."

Smackdown July 2nd 2010. Edge & Christian (C) def. The Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows & Rey Mysterio) - Unified Tag Team Championships.
The week after CM Punk says "Edge, Mysterio & Gallows would like their rematch tonight and if you don't retain the Unified Tag Team titles then you won't get your match at Money in the Bank" Edge & Christian retain the Unified Tag Team titles. That night which makes Punk visibly angry.

Money in the Bank 2010. Edge def. CM Punk (C) - World Heavyweight Championship.
In the build up to Money in the Bank, Christian tries to bring Mysterio back into the light one more time but ultimately fails for this Christian calls Mysterio a broken man. Luke Gallows costs Edge & Christian the unified tag team championships to The Usos on the final SD before MITB.
At the PPV Rey Mysterio turns on CM Punk and costs him the World Heavyweight title. Edge becomes the champion again and after the match he shakes Rey's hand. At MITB also Luke Gallows & Christian both participate in the SD MITB ladder match however neither man win.

Summerslam 2010. Rey Mysterio def. CM Punk - Mask vs. Hair match. Since CM Punk lost he had to shave his head, had Rey Mysterio won he would have to unmask forever.
CM Punk kicks Rey out of the society after Money in the Bank. Rey reveals he realized Edge & Christian were right. CM Punk is big bully and he shouldn't suck up to Punk like that, Rey says being in a cult is beneath him and he should value himself more than CM Punk. For weeks Punk taunts Mysterio and orders Gallows & Serena to do horrible things to him until Mysterio challenges him to a match at Summerslam with the stipulation that if Punk loses he has to shave his head. Punk says "If you're gonna take something from me, I'm gonna take something from you, if you lose you must unmask forever." Mysterio reluctantly agrees and at Summerslam Mysterio wins.
Punk runs away though, he tries to escape with Gallows & Serena but the 3 are stopped by Edge, Christian & The Big Show. The 3 men give Punk & Gallows a beat down while Serena watches on in fear almost crying. Then they sit Punk in the barbers chair and hold him down. The 3 help Mysterio shave Punk's head.

Night of Champions 2010. Melina def. Serena (C) - Diva's Championship.
CM Punk starts wearing a mask after being shaved bald at Summerslam and he is very angry about Luke Gallows failing to stop Rey Rey from shaving his head. He kicks Gallows out of the Society for this and "breaks his shoulder" he forgives Serena though. She's the only one left and she still has her Diva's title however at Night of Champions she loses it to Melina at NOC this makes CM Punk distraught he looks like he is about to attack Serena until Gallows returns and makes the save.

Hell in a Cell 2010: Luke Gallows def. CM Punk - Singles match
Gallows reveals he and Serena are dating and they no longer want anything to do with CM Punk. He says he and Serena went on a date had alcohol which makes CM Punk flip out. The 2 men set up a match for Hell in a Cell to end off the rivalry and Gallows wins and after the match he has a drink.

I know half of this was very similar to whatculture, just gonna say I'm not riping off or copying them I just took inspiration from the video but had some other ideas too.
submitted by Chris_R2001 to fantasybooking [link] [comments]


2020.07.31 21:56 AEWPunk525 Rebooking WWE throughout the 2010's. Part 24

Chapter 24
All sorts of Royalty
Raw starts up after TLC, and we see John Cena come out, with his World Heavyweight Championship, he grabs a mic and he says that last night, he underestimated Randy Orton, he says that Orton gave him one of the hardest fights he has ever had to endure, and both men went toe to toe for the entire match. Cena then says that he would have liked it to end differently, but he is happy knowing that Randy Orton got what he deserved when he was knocked clean out by Wade Barrett. Cena says that brings him to his next point. Cena saw Wade give him that look last night, and he saw Wade look at the World Heavyweight Championship. Cena says that he knows Wade never lost the World Heavyweight Championship, and he knows that Wade wants it back. Cena holds up the title and he says to Wade Barrett that if he wants some, come get some. Cena puts the title back over his shoulder and he walks out of the ring. Next up we see Drew McIntyre come out, he is furious still. Drew says that he destroyed Kevin Nash last night,and the Claymored a chair into the face of Nash for the win. Drew says that still he is not being recognized for any of it. Drew then says that he is sick of that feeling, and in order to gain not only the recognition that he deserves but also a World title match, Drew is the first man to declare himself for the Royal Rumble match. Drew then walks away from the ring, and walks up the ramp. Next up we have AJ Lee come out to the ring, she says that last night at TLC, she was in the fight of her life, she says that Mickie James was by far the toughest challenge that she has had to date. AJ says it was a pure fight at TLC, but the only thing that AJ regrets is that she didn’t beat Mickie James, sure she grabbed the title after climbing the ladder, but it still sits that she has not actually put down Mickie James yet, and in order to call herself a real Women’s Champion, she must do that. AJ says that Mickie is hurt tonight, and she will not be on next week either, but she will be cleared in two weeks. AJ throws out the challenge to Mickie for a traditional one on one match at the Royal Rumble. AJ walks away from the ring and she leaves. Finally at the end of the night we see Cody Rhodes come out with his Intercontenital Championship, he holds it high up in the air for everyone to see. Cody says that last night he was in a mega fight yet again with Tyler Reks, but this time, he did not get hurt, sure he is very sore, and his head hurts pretty bad after the Burning Hammer he took, but he still is the Intercontenintal Champion, and that feels great to him. Cody then offers an open challenge for the title, he says that his confidence is at an all time high after last night, and because he is feeling generous tonight, he says that anyone can come out to face him in the ring tonight. Dolph Ziggler comes out and he grabs a mic, he asks Cody if he remembers what happened to him last time the two met up. Dolph says he beat Cody, and tonight he will do it again and become IC Champion. The match starts up and the two men go at it, and Cody is showing signs of being hurt after last night, but he does not let it get to him, he is able to hit Cross Rhodes and retain his Championship. After the match Cody is blindsided and hit with Burning Hammer by Tyler Reks to close the show.
Next up we have Smackdown, and to start the show we see Wade Barrett come to the ring, and he grabs a mic, he says that it is good to be back in the ring, but he has some stuff that he wants to take care of, he does say to Cena that he does want some, he wants his World Heavyweight Championship back. Wade then says that he wants something else just as bad, and that is Randy Orton in a match. Wade then says that just before he got kicked in the head by Orton he was getting ready for a Pay Per View title defense, and that defense was a Triple Threat match with Randy Orton and John Cena. Wade says that he prepared for this match, and he believed that he could not lose it. Wade then says that he really wants to know if he could have won it, and in order to kill two birds with one stone, he talked to Teddy Long and he says that he did Randy Orton a little favor, by getting him another shot at the World Heavyweight Championship at the Royal Rumble in a Triple Threat match against John Cena and Wade Barrett himself. Wade says to Randy that there is just one catch for him, and that is that if he even is suspected of touching Barrett before the Royal Rumble then not only will he lose his World Championship opportunity, but he will be fired from WWE. Wade then says that he looks forward to the Royal Rumble match and tonight he will take interest in watching Randy Orton face off against Christian. Next up we see Miz and Alex Riley come out and they celebrate the fact that they slammed Carlito through a table at TLC and were able to retain their Tag Team Championships. Alex Riley and the Miz both give a challenge to anyone in the back to come out and face them in the ring, we then see MVP and Mark Henry come out, and they challenge the two to a match right there. MVP and Mark Henry put up a good fight, but they are attacked by Jackson and Kozlov in the middle of the match. Jackson grabs a mic and he says that they are the ones who really want to challenge for a shot at the titles. Miz and Riley agree, but they say that they will face them next week on Smackdown. Next up we have Chris Masters come out, he looks at his title and he says to everyone, that no one will be taking this title form him, he says that look what he did to Joe Hennig at TLC, he says that he destroyed him, and that just like his father, he is a failure. Masters laughs at Joe and he says that Joe isn’t even here tonight, he is too embarrassed to show his face. Masters laughs and says that if Joe is getting tired of hearing him speak, then he says that Joe should grow a pair and come face him again in the ring. Masters then holds up the US title and then walks away. Finally we have our main event of Randy Orton vs Christian. Christain looks great throughout the match, but he soon goes for his diving headbutt, and he gets an RKO for his efforts, and Randy Orton is able to win the match, Randy does his signature pose over Christian as Smackdown comes to an end.
Raw is next and we see John Cena come out, he says that he heard Wade Barrett on Smackdown, and though he does not think Randy Orton deserves another World title shot, he respects Barretts decision, Cena says that it gives him the opportunity to not only beat up Orton some more, but to prove his point that he could have indeed won the Triple Threat at King of the Ring. Cena says just like Barrett he trained long and hard for that match, because he had to prove something, and that was that he could beat anyone and anything in his path, in order to show the Rock what he will be dealing with at Wrestlemania. Cena says that he has proved a lot in that time, but the one thing he has not proved yet, is that he can survive Wade Barrett, so with that being said Cena thanks Barrett for giving him this opportunity to prove himself yet again, and he looks forward to the Royal Rumble. Cena then leaves after this. Next up we see AJ Lee in a match against a former Champion in Eve Torres. AJ and Eve have quite a match on Raw, and they both go toe to toe for a long while, but eventually AJ is able to get the best of Eve and pin her for the win. AJ grabs a mic after the match and she says that she does indeed look forward to Mickie’s answer next week on Raw. After this we see Tyler Reks come out and he says that Cody did well at TLC, and he did beat Tyler fair, at least under the rules of the match. Tyler says that last week was a message to Cody Rhodes that it is not over yet. Tyler says that they have faced off in a lot of matches before, Hell in a Cell, Last Man Standing, and now a Tables match. But Tyler says that he is invoking his rematch clause and he says this time, he doesn’t want it to be anything special, he just wants it to be a normal match, in order to see who is able to be the better man, truly. Tyler says that he fell through that table at TLC, but it did nothing to him, if it were any other match, he would have been able to keep going, and he would have been able to destroy Cody Rhodes, and retain his IC Championship. Reks then says that he cannot wait to see Cody again, he says that this time the outcome will be vastly different. Tyler then leaves the ring as the show goes off the air.
Smackdown comes up next and we see Randy Orton come to the ring, the first thing he does is he thanks Wade Barrett, for getting him another shot at the title. Randy says that it is the least Barrett can do since he did cost him the title at TLC. Randy then says to Barrett that it is fine that he cannot touch him until the Rumble, Randy says that he will just Punt Wade in the skull there, he says that he will do the same to Cena and become World Heavyweight Champion. Orton then says that there is one catch for Wade as well, and that is, that he knows Wade wants to hurt him, for what happened a few months back, but that is not going to happen, because Orton was able to talk to Teddy Long before the show and ensure that if Wade touches him, not only will he lose his title opportunity, but he will be fired. Christian then comes out, he talks about how he knows that he has not been at his best in a while, he knows that last week he lost to Randy Orton, but he also knows how close he came to beating Orton last week. Christian says that he needs to prove himself, because in the future he would like to have some World title opportunities. Christian then asks Orton for one more match. Orton laughs at Christian and starts to walk away, but Christian pushes Orton back and he slaps Randy in the face. Orton goes for the RKO, but Christian hits the Killswitch instead. Orton rolls out of the ring, he is hurt but he grabs a mic, he says to Christian, you want it, then you got it you son of a bitch. Orton then walks up the ramp and storms off, but Christian seems pretty happy with himself. Next up we see Wade Barrett backstage, he says that he heard Randy, and it’s fine, he will not touch Orton until the Rumble, but once it gets to the Rumble, then it is open season, and Barrett plans to knock Randy Orton out, yet again, as well as John Cena. Next up we have Miz and Riley vs Jackson and Kozlov. Koslov and Jackson get the upper hand quickly and they begin to beat up Miz and Riley, they look to go for the win, when all of the sudden. MVP and Mark Henry attack them and lay them out in the ring. Mark Henry hits a World's Strongest Slam on Kozlov. And then the two leave the ring. Finally we see Joe Hennig come out, he says that he is furious over what Masters said and did last week, Hennig says that he demanded that Masters leave his father out of it, but he absolutely refuses. Hennig says that is it, he wants Masters in a fight, next week on Smackdown, and not in the ring, he wants to see Masters in the parking lot, because he does not care about winning or losing, he just wants to fight and hurt Chris Masters. Masters comes out and he stands on stage, he says that he is not some type of barbarian, he does not accept. Hennig says to Masters that it does not matter if he accepts or not, because at some point whether it be before or after the show, Masters has to come to the parking lot, Hennig says that he will just wait for him. He then tells Masters that he will see him next week, and he looks forward to ripping him apart, Hennig then drops the mic and the show goes off the air, but not before seeing a graphic that says we will see Randy Orton vs Christian next week on Smackdown.
Next up we have Raw, and the first person to come out is Mickie James, she says that TLC took a lot out of her, she says that AJ really is as good as everyone says. She says that she and AJ went thirty seven minutes at TLC, and AJ was able to outlast her and climb ro the top of the ladder and grab her title. Mickie then says that the next night on Raw, AJ came out and challenged her to a traditional one on one match up. Mickie says that she could not believe it, she said that the Ladder match took her out for two weeks, and AJ just came out the next night like it was nothing, and got back to business. Mickie says that AJ is a machine, and she has all the respect in the world for her. Mickie then says that if AJ or anyone else thought that she was going to decline the challenge then they were of course dead wrong. Mickie says that she looks forward to the Royal Rumble, and she looks forward to tying the record and becoming a seven time Women’s Champion. Mickie then drops her mic and she heads on to the back. Next we see all the men who are going to be in the Royal Rumble match and then we see Sting in the back, he says that for well over a decade he has been one of the greatest wrestlers alive. Sting says that no matter where in the world he went including WWE and WCW he made it to the top, and along the way, he has been in some great match types and he has won some great match types. Sting then says that however, the most famous match stipulation of all time is the Royal Rumble, Sting says that he has never gotten the chance to be in the Royal Rumble match before, but seeing as how there are still some spots open, Sting says that he has thought about it for a little while now, and he has decided that he would like to declare for his first ever Royal Rumble match. Sting says that it is time to finally add this to his incredible legacy. Sting then walks away. Next up we see Cody Rhodes come out, he decided to comment on his upcoming match with Tyler Reks, he says that of course he is nervous about the match, he says that every single time he has stepped into the ring with Reks he has gotten hurt, and hurt bad, but not once but twice he has taken away the Intercontenintal Championship from Tyler Reks, and not only that he says the only other time they met up in a traditional match, Cody walked away from the match victorious, he says that he looks forward to facing off against Reks again, and he knows that he will beat Reks again and keep his championship. Finally we see John Cena backstage and he says that he has heard Orton and Barrett over on Smackdown, he says that they sound like school children playing games with eachother, he says they remind him of the kids that go, see, I’m not touching you. Cena then says that they are more than welcome to play all the games they want with each other, but come Royal Rumble there will be no games. Cena says that both of those men will take an AA and possibly an STF, and Cena will walk away World Heavyweight Champion. Raw then goes off the air.
Next up we have Smackdown and we start out with the cameras in the Parking lot, they are following Chris Masters, who seems to be looking over his shoulders the whole time. Masters is suddenly hit with a chair, it is Hennig, who begins to attack Masters and brutalize him, he beats Master's down, and bloodies him up just a bit, Hennig then takes Masters and hits a Perfect Plex on top of a car hood. Masters rolls off the car and is motionless on the ground. Hennig then says to Masters that he looks absolutely perfect right now. Hennig then spits on Masters and he walks away. Next up we see Chris Jericho in the back, he says that he has been doing good as of late and his win over Del Rio has only enforced in his mind that he is good, and not only good, but one of the best, which is exactly why he is going to declare himself for the Royal Rumble match. Next up we see Kozlov and Jackson vs MVP and Mark Henry. This is a hard hitting afair, MVP gets beaten up, but everytime, he is down, Mark Henry is able to fend the other two men off. Eventually the Miz and Alex Riley come in and attack both teams, and cause a double DQ. Teddy Long comes out and he says that he is tired of all this stuff and at the Royal Rumble he would just like to say that Miz and Riley will defend their titles in a Tag Team Triple Threat match against Henry, MVP, Kozlov and Jackson. Miz and Riley seem upset by this and they end up leaving the ring. Finally we have our main event, it is Randy Orton vs Christian. Wade Barrett is on commentary. Orton and Christian go back and forth for a while, until Christian gets Orton in position for the Killswitch, Randy pushes him off and then hits the RKO, and he pins Christian for the win. Orton notices Barrett looking on, and he goes back to the corner and he Punts Christian in the head, and then he smirks at Wade Barrett. Orton then grabs a mic and he looks at Wade and says that he has heard about Cena and Barrett preparing for the match, and how they both think that they cannot lose. Orton says that they are naive for believing this, because they are both stepping into the ring with the greatest World Champion that ever lived, and since they are both letting their egos get in the way, then at Royal Rumble it will be a cakewalk for Randy Orton. Orton drops the mic and walks away as he looks at Christian being put on a stretcher. Smackdown then goes off the air.
Raw comes up next and we start out with Mickie James in a match against Melina. Mickie and Melina fight it out for a little bit before Mickie is able to pick up the victory over Melina. AJ comes out after the match and congratulates Mickie, she says that she is happy that she accepted her challenge for a rematch at the Royal Rumble. AJ says that she did hear her last week and she says that she really hopes Mickie does not think that it will be that easy, because to AJ it sure does sound like it. Mickie says that she knows that it will not be easy to beat AJ, she says that it will probably be the toughest challenge that she has ever faced, but she still however plans on becoming a seven time Women’s Champion, and she does plan on defeating AJ for the championship. Mickie walks away and AJ says good luck to her. Next up we see Cody Rhodes face off against Sheamus in a first time ever match. Cody Rhodes takes some punishment from Sheamus, but he ultimately comes back and is able to defeat Sheamus. After the match, Tyler Reks comes out and he tries to attack Cody, but Cody thwarts him, and he hits Cross Rhodes on Tyler before leaving the ring. Finally to end the night we see John Cena take on Evan Bourne in another first time match. Bourne looks great in this match, he uses his speed to his advantage, but Cena ultimately catches Bourne and he hits the AA on him for the win. Cena holds up his title while he smirks at the camera. Raw then goes off the air.
Smackdown then starts up next and we see Joe Hennig come out to the ring, he talks about what he did to Chris Masters last week, he says that it felt good, and Chris Masters actually spent the night in the hospital, but he says that he is far from done with Chris Masters, he says that he is going to challenge Masters to a Steel Cage match for the US title at the Royal Rumble. Joe says that Masters will be back next week, so he expects his answer then, and he expects it to be a yes, and if it isn’t, then Hennig says that he is not afraid to go to the Parking lot again. Next up we see Miz vs Jackson vs Henry, and we have a good match on our hands, all three of these men take it to one another. Eventually Henry is able to catch Miz when he jumps off the top rope and he is able to hit Miz with the World's Strongest Slam, and pin him for the win. Mark Henry is victorious in this match. Next up we see Wade Barrett in his return match and he is facing off against Khali. Wade Barrett shows no intimidation, and Khali is able to get a few hits in on Barrett, but he isn’t able to do much after that, and soon enough, Wade Barrett takes Khali down and he goes back into the corner, and once Khali gets up, Barrett charges towards him and he hits a massive Bull Hammer and pins Khali for the win. After the match Randy Orton comes out on the stage and he stares at Wade Barrett. Barrett looks back at Orton and he smirks at him while he balls up his fist and shows it to Orton. Smackdown then goes off the air.
Raw is up next and we start out with Tyler Reks having a match with Daniel Bryan. Reks beats up Bryan for most of the match, but he cannot put Bryan down. Bryan is able to get in the Lebell Lock for a second, but Reks breaks free and he hits a massive clothesline on Bryan, he goes for the Burning Hammer and he hits it, but before he can pin Bryan, Cody Rhodes comes in and he hits Cross Rhodes on Tyler Reks. Cody then stands over Reks for a minute before leaving the ring. Next up we have AJ coming out, she grabs a mic, she then talks about all the respect that she has for Mickie James, she says that she has watched Mickie for years and years, and she saw Mickie take on the best and beat the best such as Lita and Trish Stratus, but that does not change anything, she says that she knows how good Mickie is, and she knows that Mickie thinks that she has what it takes and everything, but she just doesn’t. AJ says that she is not Lita and she has defeated trish Stratus, and not only that, she took Mickie beyond her limit, back at TLC, she says that all she wants to do is prove that she can pin Mickie, because AJ knows she can, and she wants to add that to her resume, AJ says that she really does have respect for her, and she really does wish her luck, but at the Royal Rumble, AJ says that Mickie just simply cannot win. Finally we have Cena coming out for another match with Sheamus. These two go back and forth for a little while, before Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, and misses, Cena then hits the AA and wins the match. He once again holds up his title, and he smirks at the camera. Raw goes off the air after this.
Smackdown comes up next and we see Chris Masters come out to the ring, he looks upset, and he grabs a mic, he says that two weeks ago he was brutally attacked by Joe Hennig and he saw that last week Joe challenged him to a Steel Cage match at the Royal Rumble. Chris looks confused and he says that if Joe thinks that he will get rewarded for this kind of behavior with a title match, then he is wrong. At the Royal Rumble, Chris Masters says that he absolutely will not be facing off against Hennig in a Steel Cage. Hennig then comes out, and he tells Masters to expect him in the Parking Lot next week then. Masters dares Hennig to try anything next week. Hennig just says ok and he walks away. Next up we have Riley vs Kozlov vs MVP. In this match we see Kozlov dominate the match, and both MVP and Riley have to team up on him. MVP and Riley take Kozlov out of the match, and they focus on each other, Riley is able to hit his DDT on MVP and win the match. Riley is victorious after this match and we see a graphic on the screen that says next week we will see Alex Riley one on one with Mark Henry. Finally after this we see Randy Orton come to the ring and he says that he has been watching John Cena the past couple weeks, and he says that Cena is getting far too smug for his own good, Orton says that at Royal Rumble he will Punt Cena in the head as hard as he possibly can, and he will most likely end his whole career. Wade Barrett then comes out to the ring, and he says to Randy that he knows that it is a Triple Threat match at Royal Rumble, but it is best that Orton does not give his full attention to John Cena because Wade is planning on hitting Orton with a Bull Hammer so hard that it may just break his jaw, and knock him out. Orton gets in the face of Barrett and Barrett dares Randy to touch him. Randy then backs off of Barrett and he says to him that he does not know why Wade is talking such a big game when he already knows how devastating the Punt kick can be, Orton says, maybe not though, in that case he plans on reminding Barrett at the Royal Rumble.
Next up we have the go home Raw and we start out with Tyler Reks calling out Cody Rhodes to the ring. Cody comes out and Tyler says to him that the last two weeks, Cody has blindsided him. Reks says that will change when he has to meet him face to face. Cody says that at the Royal Rumble, he will do whatever it takes to defeat Tyler Reks and keep his IC Championship. Tyler says that he was not talking about the Royal Rumble, he was talking about right now. Reks then attacks Cody and nails him with a Burning Hammer, and then throws Cody over the top rope to the ground, Reks then holds up the IC title and throws it on Rhodes body outside the ring. Next up we see Mickie James come to the ring, she says that after last week she has done some thinking, she says that maybe AJ was right, perhaps Mickie simply cannot win, but then Mickie says that she watched all of AJs matches in WWE within the last week, and she took a lot of notes, and not only that, but she did a lot of training in order to prepare for the match. Mickie says that it doesn’t matter if AJ was right or not last week, because Mickie says that she is more focused than she ever has been in her career, and it will be an incredible fight this Sunday at the Royal Rumble, but Mickie now has faith in herself that she can do it. Mickie then leaves the ring and she walks away, only to be greeted by AJ, who has a mic, AJ then says that may the best woman win, and the two shake hands. Finally we have John Cena come out with a mic, and he says that this Sunday he cannot wait to get in the ring, he says that ever since before King of the Ring, he has wanted this match, Cena says that he is foaming at the mouth for it, and he begs Orton and Barrett not to attack each other on Friday night Smackdown. Cena says that he doesn’t want just one of them in the ring, he wants both, he wants to say that he beat two of the most decorated superstars both in one night, Cena says that he wants to be just like Chris Jericho. Cena then gets serious, he says that he hopes that the Rock watches the Royal Rumble this Sunday, because in just a few months, that will be his fate. Cena throws the mic down and Raw goes off the air.
Next up is the go home Smackdown and we start out in the Parking Lot again following Chris Masters. Joe Hennig tries to attack him again, but Masters is prepared for it this time, and the two have a straight up Parking Lot Brawl. Joe gets the better of Masters and he is ready to hit the Perfect Plex on another car, but Masters stops him by saying that he accepts his challenge to a Steel Cage match at the Royal Rumble for the US Championship. Hennig then says good, and he throws Masters to the ground. Hennig tells Masters that he will see him Sunday. Next up we have Alex Riley vs Mark Henry. Henry is able to dominate the match, but towards the end Riley is able to comeback, but just before he can attempt a win on Henry, both men are attacked by Kozlov and Jackson. Miz and MVP come out to try and help, and the whole thing turns into a huge brawl. In the end Kozlov and Jackson stand tall, over the other four men. Finally we see Wade Barrett come out, and he grabs a mic, and he says that just like John Cena he cannot wait for this Sunday, he says that he will not lose, he will destroy Cena and Orton, and then he tells Cena not to worry, because he won’t attack Orton before the bell rings this Sunday, Wade then says that he cannot speak for Orton however, and he turns and looks at Randy Orton who is standing behind Barrett now in shock. Barrett smirks at Orton and he leaves the ring as Smackdown goes off the air.
Royal Rumble
  1. Cody and Reks draw (Double Count Out)
  2. AJ Lee retains her Women’s title against Mickie James
  3. Chris Masters retains his US title against Joe Hennig
  4. Miz and Riley retain their Tag Team titles (Pins MVP)
  5. Wade Barrett wins the World Heavyweight Championship (John Cena looks great throughout the match, and towards the end he has Orton in the STF, and we hear the music of the Rock. Cena leaves the ring, but Rock never comes out. Meanwhile in the ring, Barrett hits the Bull Hammer on Orton to win the match)
  6. Drew McIntyre wins the Royal Rumble (Notes: Drew enters at number 4, Sting enters number 1. Justin Gabriel returns. Drew eliminates the most men at nine. Sting breaks the record for longest time at 63 minutes. Drew last eliminates Sting to win the match.)
submitted by AEWPunk525 to fantasybooking [link] [comments]


2020.07.28 07:54 jamesthepenguin22 Ten Rules of Mainstream Country

[WARNING: SOME CONTENT IN THIS POST MAY PROVOKE CONTROVERSY]

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Hello there. This is Mainstream Country, Incorporated. We are responding to your email which stated your desire to officially enter the country music scene. Below are 10 tips that should help you reach a level of prominence within our great community.
  1. Nashville is home to some top-notch percussionists who can realistically recreate any beat imaginable within a couple of attempts. Their excellence must be heard through the most simplistic beats possible. Snapping every other quarter note would be an ideal condition.
  2. Our iHeart stations cycle between a dozen songs on a given day, ensuring that the listener is engaged at all times. More modern setups are mostly irrelevant, but we have gotten a few viral hits through them, so at least they entice the younglings.
  3. Although country as a genre is often seen in a contrasting light with the current pop scene, never hesitate to replicate a trend that comes with it, as it will lead to a spot on the Hot 100.
  4. If you criticize us in any fashion, we have the means to appropriately respond. Don't expect a guest appearance on The Bachelor if we lack an intimate connection.
  5. Incorporate references to pickup-trucking in your lyrics (whether it be the truck itself or some outside conditions), no matter how poorly the resulting metaphor comes out. Ford, GM, and Dodge all love it.
  6. On a similar line, promote beer recklessly whenever humanly possible. The multi-billion dollar corporations love the free advertising that translates to long-term alcohol addictions that are sure to cause absolutely no harm to the consumer or any victims unfortunate enough to stand in their way.
  7. Occasionally put on a Christain persona. People look at idols that serve God full-time with admiration. In situations where the 6th & 7th rules conflict, the 6th is to be paramount.
  8. If you are not white, see us when you gain credit on the pop or rock charts and we may hook you up with a featured role that won't show up on radio play. Don't expect us to give you any real attention until you have set multiple records in a more popular scene.
  9. Unless you've established yourself on the scene, if you happen to be a female, don't expect a lot of attention. I know songs detailing relationships make up a majority these days, but our current business model works best if a guy lavishes a girl with praise, not the other way around.
  10. Speaking of "relationship songs", make sure the male protagonist in question lavishes her date solely in physical terms and not in factors that require further dimension. The protagonist is allowed and even encouraged to focus on this concept to an excessive degree. "Eyes on You" is a terrific demonstration of it, and we are proud that it managed to make the year-end Hot 100.
We hope that this letter has given you valuable insight into the inner workings of our hit-producing operation. Provided you are willing to heed the above points, you should become huge in no time!
Sincerely,
Igor M. Rich
CEO, Mainstream Country
submitted by jamesthepenguin22 to country [link] [comments]


2020.07.09 09:20 elitedesolator1 I think I have impregnated my girlfriend without having sex

Using a throwaway because I am already quite heavily active on reddit.
Me and my girlfriend come from devout christian families, as both are we, as we offer ourselves wholly to god.
That being said, we of course abstein in any form of intercourse because of our beliefs. We do not intend to engage in sexual acts until I've carried her across the threshold, so to speak.
Recently though, I have been feeling increasingly sexual, not towards her directly or any one thing in particular, but I find myself fantasizing about the day I can take her virginity.
I have been masturbating in the shower in order to quence these feelings, it isn't adultry as per the Bible (Matthew 5:27) so I haven't felt too bad about it. Whenever I have finished I have done so in the shower and the water has washed away all evidence.
About a month ago I had a shower and as I was getting out I had another urge to purge, but because I was already out the shower I didn't want to waste time getting back in, so I just did it standing in the bathroom. I wasn't thinking straight and I finished on my towerl, then threw it in the laundry basket and thought nothing of it.
Now my GF is being sick nearly every morning, we are seeing the signs of pregnancy and I asked if she cheated, she swore she didn't. I thought about it for a moment, then asked her "What towel did you use when you got out of the shower a month ago (exact date unknown)?". She thought that was a weird question but I pressed her and we narrowed it down to her using my towel, which she took from the laundry basket because hers was still damp from the day before.
I had to break to too her that I think my ejaculate got inside her when she dried herself off down there. She was mortified, obviously, and we had a big argument about absteining.
That is where I am now, if I tell my parents, we will both be shunned and removed as they will most likely not accept a "cover story". If we go to planned parenthood then I think that despite there being no reference to abortions in the Bible, that is directly against God, nor do I want to be responsible for creating then taking away a life. If I tell people adamantly about how it happened, then that will just be awkward.
I am freaking out, probably even more so than my GF, she hasn't offered any suggestions either which makes me think she wants to keep it? I think we are too young for parenthood, plus all our christain friends wouldn't approve of having a child so young.

Any suggestions helpful right now, I'm not very knowledgable about this sort of thing and I'm quite concerned.
submitted by elitedesolator1 to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.07.08 21:02 cordial_cryptid My Deconversion Story. (long)

When I made my first post here I mentioned that though it was my introduction to the subreddit I'd tell my story of leaving Christianity later. I was waiting for my one year anniversary as an ex-Christian to post it. This post is late because I think it was sometime in June that I deconverted but oh well, this'll due just fine. :)
(if you wanna skip to the good stuff look for the *****, everything else is background)
I probably started questioning most fervently when I was in High school. That was when the doubts really kicked in and when I waned from my fundie-light roots that I'd adhered loyally to in Middle school. I was raised as a YEC and Bible literalist. My parents are homophobic and transphobic (even if they deny it) and raised me to be the same way. I was saved when I was under the age of 6. I had multiple bibles and additional literature about how not be be a "slut" while dating and dressing up. I was very involved in the church and even went to Bible Study Fellowship. Both churches I attended as a kid were non-denominational evangelical Churches. This was just fine until 10th grade. Then I began doubting.
My main questions were small things: "Why would god tell us to kill gays if he was going to change the rules later? Why not just start with the final set of rules? Doesn't that mean gay people died that didn't have to die?" "Why can't women do the things men can do? Why did God make us as assistants, like an afterthought to men?" "Why would God kill the Midianites/Amalekites/Egyptian first borns/ David and Bathsheba's son/ if there was a non-violent way to change things?" "Why couldn't female slaves go free after 7 years but male slaves can?" "Why is mensuration dirty?" I was pointed to some apologetics but eventually I found problems with those too. Around my senior year of High school I'd become a liberal (lukewarm, kinda non-practicing) Christian, no longer homophobic/transphobic, I was a feminist and pro-choice, and I accepted evolution. But, I was also fed up with going to Church.
It was dull. I didn't like it. So, one day, not thinking anything of it, I told my mom I didn't want to attend anymore. I was 18 years old. That was a big mistake. She asked me why and I told her. She wasn't having it. She told me that I most certainly would be going to church. I refused and said she was being unfair. She then told me I'd loose privileges: phone, car, and seeing friends, TV time, general screen time. When I told her she was punishing me for not going to church she denied it. Later that evening she told my Dad.
He laughed at me and told me while I was under his roof I was under his rules and I would most certainly be attending Church, end of story. How my parents treated me made me angry. I was an adult woman, young, but still an adult. They didn't respect me. They used their financial power to twist my arm and make me comply. I think this was a pretty major catalyst for me. This really started the ball rolling because once I was resentful my interest in learning grew exponentially. Later, I realized that I couldn't sit in the "idk about the Christian God" box and really dove into looking at stuff even though I had a feeling I'd come out a non-believer.
In college I'd started watching videos about JW's, who I didn't like very much because they were abusive. Then I discovered channels that covered Quiverfull and other cults. I couldn't get enough. I realized that I could see parallels between what the cult survivors were saying and my own religion. Shortly after the church fiasco I fell into Atheist Youtube through the 'Girl Defined Sucks portal' and began searching out ex-Christain deconversion stories. That's how I found this subreddit actually.
*******************************
The day it happened, I was sitting on my bed, listening to Evid3nce's video about the OT. I was shocked to find out they were likely polytheistic and that Moses wasn't a real person. Combined with all the ex-Christian and other atheist/witchy content I'd consumed it felt like something snapped in that moment. The historicity of the New Testament was dependent on the Old Testament. The OT was full of wild and unbelievable things along with things that were easily proven to be false. The literal interpretation of the Bible was so warped it wasn't funny. A language tower? A global flood? A young earth? Unspeakable morals and depraved cruelty mandated and instructed by God?
I tried to soothe myself with metaphor but realized if I couldn't discern which parts were literal and which were metaphorical how on earth was I to figure out the truth? Then I thought about how bad the system was, how individual revelation and written word was a poor medium for an all powerful and good god. Then the problems I had with freewill came rushing up too. I thought to myself, "Why was everybody so confused? God wasn't the author of confusion after all, right? An all knowing God could do all these things in much better ways! It was like... the Christian god as described in the Bible was an amalgamation of the time period and the thinking of men back then." That's the moment when I realized that I didn't believe anymore.
It felt like I could breathe. The tension in my mind, the dissonance that had been sending me on a rabid search for information finally eased its foot off my throat. I was shocked but also slightly euphoric. It was strange. My surroundings seemed too mundane compared to the fact I'd just had this intense, life altering realization. So I quickly denied I'd had it. I felt I had to have ALL the information before I could say I wasn't a Christian. Even though I didn't believe anymore I wouldn't accept that. It took a few more weeks until I did. Then, I spiraled down, down down. I was anxious, depressed, and having an existential crisis where I realized there may be no afterlife and even though I knew death was pretty far off and would be like before birth it didn't comfort me. Because while I was conscious I didn't want to end and knowing I would end was awful.
I was immature and stunted emotionally in regards to the harder things in life. There was a good 2-4 months where I just grieved the fact that my heaven was gone, my security was gone, my community was gone, and my entire easy life was gone. That's when I realized the ramifications of what had happened. I'd had tunnel vision on discovering the truth and now I was out in the cold, completely unprepared. I felt confused and full of anxiety all the time. I felt super raw. The God coating that allowed me to feel like there was justice and peace eventually (to deal with pain, war, suffering) was gone and I had bouts of gutting empathy where I would cry in my bed while thinking of someone across the world being r*ped or tortured or killed and there was nothing I could do to help them.
I tried to dabble in the more occult bit of the world but my brain literally wouldn't let me. It would point out flaws. At that point I was exhausted and just wanted to lay down but I couldn't. I felt like I couldn't think of anything except Christianity and reality. I wanted to go invest in my other hobbies but I couldn't because everything looped back to my deconversion. But, I eventually began to adjust. It took quite a while. I felt bad I never cried about loosing God until 6 months later where I begged him to show me a sign: to open the blinds, make a green flower bud bloom, to write with my pen that he was god, and do it all in 5,6,10 minutes. I did the test prayer multiple times all while crying and begging. I was sincere and hoped he would because it would make things easier. It would hurt less. I would know for certain. But he never did. Then I cried then because it was so final and I felt incredibly alone.
As of now I've finally regulated out a bit more. I can enjoy my other hobbies now and feel happier and fulfilled. I'm an Ietsist. Which is defined as: ("somethingism") is an unspecified belief/a range of beliefs held by people who, on the one hand, inwardly suspect or believe that "there must be something undefined beyond the mundane and that which can be known or can be proven", but on the other hand do not necessarily accept or subscribe to the established belief system, dogma or view of the nature of a deity offered by any particular religion." I'm into witchy things like divination and vibes and I celebrate the Sabbats. I don't know what I believe about a god. I'd say I'm pure agnostic on that, I flucctuate and kind of don't know what I believe. Even though my deconversion was a bitch I'm glad I went through it. I'm still learning too and I don't plan to stop.
(disclaimer: I don't give permission to any outside entities to use, allude, link, or reproduce my story. I remember that happened to somebody on here awhile ago and I'm not down with that. This is mine and it is for this support group only.)
submitted by cordial_cryptid to exchristian [link] [comments]


2020.06.29 02:29 FluffyBambooCat I want to come out to my Grandparents, but I'm very scared to.

Before I say why I'm scared to come out, I'll tell you how I figured out I was a lesbian. For all of my childhood, I've always wondered why girls would coo over boys... They thought of dating/ getting married to someone that is masculine makes me hurl. It's already bad enough that the boys would never showe use a whole can of axe on the back of the bus. But, for nearly my whole childhood, I went to this elementary/ middle school mix that's literally parked next to a farm.
When I went to school there, we never were taught anything about pride, didn't know anybody in the school that was LGBT, so basically I didn't know that liking girls existed, so that could of set me up to be miserable all of my life with someone that I don't even like. So, when I was a quarter into 8th grade, my mother finally gets a house and I asked if I could move in because I was curious what it would be like to go to a school in a larger city. I never lived with her my whole life because she went to work for 10 hours a day, so I would come home to no one in the house. So, when I finally go to school there, at lunch I decided to sit with a couple of LGBT kiddos (but I didn't know it at the time). My memory is pretty rusty on what conversation with them brought up orientation, but it had to be within the first 2 months of being there, because by December I had my first girlfriend (woo! 1st girlfriend achievement!).
So, I believe that by spring time in 8th, I came out to my mother in the car just as she was turning my grandparents road to drop me off. At first she seemed a lot more chill about it than I thought she would of (I thought she would of kicked me out of the car and make me walk the rest of the way to their house lol), which is surprising because she's Catholic. Thank God she never told my grandparents. But it seems ever since I told her, she's been getting a worse and worse attitude twords me, such as calling me a "dirty lesbian" and slurring all over the place. And that's when I started getting depressed and anxious, because I felt like she didn't like me no more because she doesn't have a daughter that will ever have biological kids, yada yada yaaa... And on the other hand, now being in 10th grade moving onto 11th, my mother decides to move to Florida, I tell her she can live all by herself, and get married to as many men as she wants and have all of it fail (I didn't actually tell her that, but I was so fed up I would of said that or probably say worse)... And I'm back out living at my grandparents house again.
My now 3rd girlfriend that I'd hate to loose contact with (we still text, but I like to physically be by her side), and I really miss. A couple weeks ago it nearly slipped when my grandmother and I were taking a trip into town. "I miss my-" I just barely caught myself about to say 'girlfriend'. "You miss your what?" She asked. It took a moment for me to replace the word. "I miss my friends". Which sorta isn't a lie, but I missed her more than anything.
I held back the tears; it felt very painful for me not to say it. I needed it off my chest. So bad that I felt a pressure in my chest. But I never said anything else. Just recently, there have been a few pride flags popping up in one of our towns, and for a couple car rides all I would here froms my grandparents are 'f**** this tra**y this' (I blurred out most of the slurs because it makes me very stressed to hear them and in pretty sure other people do too).
At one point I had enough of hearing it and blurted out of anger "IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY SHUT THE F*** UP. JUST SHUT UP AND DRIVE." They just stared at me like I had two heads or something.
So that's basically why I'm afraid to come out to my grandparents. They use slurs and they're Christain. I recently was testing the waters with my grandfather by telling him I was atheist. He went on a 45 minute tour about why I shouldn't close God out of my life and that God saved his life and that the devil puts people out there to tell you that God doesn't exist and yada yada yaaa... What a NUT.
Also, sorry if there is any spelling related mistakes, I have a lot more on my mind.
I really want to be there to hold her ;-; we are both feeling very stressed from being separated.
submitted by FluffyBambooCat to comingout [link] [comments]


2020.06.10 19:16 DarkLordJurasus Dr. Strange #19- In the Serpent's Den

Dr. Strange

Volume Five: A Fetch Quest Like No Other
In the Serpent's Den
Written by u/DarkLordJurasus
Edited by u/FPSGamer48 and u/dwright5252
Wong, the loyal servant of the Sorcerer Supreme, comes running into the main room of the New York City Sanctum. Spotting Stephen Strange, he quickly says, “There is a high surge of mystical energy in Texas. We should investigate just in case it’s the cult of Dormammu.”
Pausing for a minute, Wong finally sees exactly what Strange is wearing. Instead of his normal red cape and robed persona, the master of the mystical arts is endorning a blue tuxedo.
Dr. Strange lets out a sigh before replying, “I have a job to do. Can you deal with it?”
Wong shakes his head, “You know I’m not up to fighting. You said it will take another week or so for me to heal.”
Strange frown and says, “Yeah. I probably should have dealt with that. To be fair, I didn’t know you would have to fight - -”
Wong quickly cuts Strange off, “A demon. I fought a demon. I know why you couldn’t get the shard, but you sent me to literal hell. I still haven’t gotten the smell of sulfur out of my clothes. You know, from the flaming pits of literal damnation!”
Strange lets out an aggravated groan, “I know. It’s not like I didn’t have reasons not to go. They could have sensed my mystical energy.”
Strange morphs his tux into his normal outfit before saying, “Listen. I will go down and deal with the mystical energy surge, but you have to go to the meeting I have tonight.”
Wong nods his head, “Yeah, what is the whole meeting about?”
Strange responds, “It’s just another one of the sanctums wanting to renegotiate their salaries.”
Wong shakes his head before saying, “This is getting out of hand. Can’t we just hire a lawyer?”
Strange answers, “The best mystical lawyers are either part of the union or busy as of now. As much as a mortal lawyer would work, I can’t justify giving away the magical world just so I don’t have to deal with negotiations.”
Wong thinks the problem through for a minute before asking, “What about the lawyer that helped you on the malpractice case way back? You trusted him with a shard of the Eye of Agamotto.”
Strange shakes his head, “Matt is going through a crisis of his own right now. You remember that article about the blind lawyer killing a trained assassin? That’s him. He was and probably still is a devout Christain. With his ethical and moral problems right now, explaining that not only is God real, but every other religion is too, might not be the best idea.”
Wong lets out a sigh, “Fine I’ll go. Where is this Sanctum anyway?”
Strange smiles and throws Wong a small device. As Wong catches it, Strange replies, “It’s in India. Part of the protesting is putting an anti-teleportation field around the Sanctum. That device will teleport you to an abandoned outhouse a mile or so away. It’s the closest location I know of that won’t have witnesses.”
Wong opens his mouth to speak but is too slow. Strange is already flying out of the Sanctum to search for the mystical energy surge.
Wong teleports to the outhouse in India. Almost immediately, bile rises from his mouth as the smell hits him. He thinks to himself how it is no wonder that the outhouse is abandoned, no one would ever choose to use it.
Walking out of it, Wong breathes in the fresh air. Looking around his surroundings, Wong notices a man in a black top hat.
The man turns around and Wong immediately recognizes him. Wong fires a bolt of lightning at him. The man twists his body out of the way, the lightning millimeters away from his Adam’s apple.
The man smiles before saying, “Well...well...well, if it isn’t Strange’s pet sorcerer. Now I wonder what you are doing in India. Is a shard here, perhaps?”
Wong ignores the taunts as he asks, “Make anymore abominations, music man?”
The man frowns and he replies, “The name is Cedric.”
Wong questions, “What?”
Cedric answers, “My name is Cedric. I thought you would want to know, me being your superior and all.”
Wong prepares to attack again as he asks, “What do you mean superior?”
Cedric smiles again as he responds, “Simple. You’re only second rate.”
Seeing Wong’s blank expression, Cedric continues, “You know, Jafar’s song from Aladdin: Return of Jafar? The one Robin Williams refused to return for.”
Wong says, “Sorry, don’t know it.”
Cedric facepalms, “Well I’m going to sing it anyway.” Immediately after, the musical sorcerer begins to sing.
I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing
Wong attempts to fire a second bolt of lightning at the musical musician. The magic flows through Wong’s body, yet nothing is released from his hands. Over and over again, Wong attempts to use magic to stop the man but his attempts are futile.
Realizing what happened, Wong growls, “Taking away my magic. Real nice.”
The man cackles before taking off his black top hat.
I bet you've got a bunny under your hat!
Cedric reaches into his top hat and pulls out a sword. In a swift motion, he throws the glistening weapon over to Wong. Wong catches it in midair and starts to rush the singing sorcerer. Cedric does not move an inch as he sees his opponent. His arm snakes back into the black top hat as he pulls out a sword of his own and throws the hat to the ground.
Now here's your chance to get the best of me
Wong slashes at Cedric. His blade is blocked by Cedric’s with a deafening clang. Before he has time to react, a swift kick is delivered to the groin of the heroic sorcerer. Wong stumbles back as Cedric holds up his sword. The light glistens off of it, remaking the iconic image of Excalibur and King Arthur.
Hope your hand is hot!
Wong lets go of his crotch as he sees the blade light up with flames. Altering his plans, Wong grinds his feet into the dirt, hoping to hold his ground in his weakened state. The aches of the injuries, from his trip a few weeks back, pound on his skull. Barely giving in, though, Wong acknowledges the only way he is getting out of this is if he plays defensively.
C'mon, clown! Let's see what you've got!
Contradicting his thoughts, Wong senses his body begin to run towards the singing duellist. It takes half a second for the sorcerer to realize he no longer has control of his body. The next thought through his head is a hope that this song doesn’t have a big finisher.
You try to slam me with your hardest stuff
Cedric reflects Wong’s blade using one hand as the blade comes near. He then grips the sorcerer’s wrist with his other hand and forces him to drop his sword.
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
Still not in control of his own thoughts, Wong grimaces as his arm is twisted behind his back. Kicks begin to rain into his stomach, each one sending a wave of pain that blocks all else.
I'll set the record straight,
The arm holding the sword comes down on Wong’s back in an elbow. Cedric drops Wong, letting him crash into his ground.
you're simply out of date
Cedric flips a wheezing Wong onto his back using his foot. Bloop dripping from his nose and mouth, Wong coughs up a mixture of mucus and blood, his body spasming from pain.
You're only second rate!
The singing sorcerer bends down and grabs Wong’s neck. He then forces Wong into a standing position in order to deliver a headbutt to Wong’s temple.
You think your cat's a meanie, but your tiger's tame
Cedric takes the pained and dazed sorcerer and slices into his stomach, the blade becoming dressed in blood. Wong throws a sloppy right hook that strikes Cedric across the jaw.
You've got a lot to learn about the magic game
Cedric’s face barely moves as he places a smile on his face. He drops his blade on the ground and uses his now free hand to share a blow to Wong.
So for your information, I'll reiterate
Wong stumbles backwards. His nose sprouting blood like a waterfall. Wong places one of his hands on the outhouse, balancing himself on the old, wooden structure.
You're only second rate!
Cedric bends down to pick up his hat and sword. He places the sword back in the hat, throwing it up into the air as he stands there, allowing it to fall onto his head.
Men cower at the power in my pinky
Cedric lazily points his pinky at Wong. Wong does not even attempt to dodge a blast of light, his body aching with pain. The bleeding stops as the cut to his stomach bursts with pain. Another light hits Wong’s nose, causing him to feel like his nose is being ripped off. Through the pain, Wong realizes that his injuries have been healed.
My thumb is number one on every list
Cedric wiggles his thumb at Wong. The only thought going through Wong’s head as a third beam of light hits him in the chest is, “Oh shit.” His body starting to constrict, Wong can’t help as his arms and legs twist out leaving him entirely open to attack.
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Cedric releases a blast of electric energy. The energy surrounds the singing sorcerer. It strikes off his body, showing itself in a field around him.
Put me to the test!
Cedric releases Wong of his invisible chains. His legs wobbling, Wong stands back up to face his foe.
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest!
Cedric strolls up to Wong who is still regaining his footing. He then lightly taps Wong on the temple. As his electrified hand touches Wong’s skin, Wong drops back to the ground.
Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Wong, on his hands and knees, barrels into Cedric. Cedric goes flying down as Wong delivers a punch to his jaw. Wong doesn’t give the sorcerer time to recover as he delivers another strike down on his nose.
Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size
Deciding to play dirty, Cedric bites into Wong’s shoulder, causing a scream of pain to escape the sorcerer’s lips. A beam of light escapes Cedric’s hands as Wong flies multiple feet up into the air.
I'll make a big escape, it's just a piece of cake
Cedric calmly stands back up. Patting off his clothes, Cedric deviously stares at Wong.
You're only second rate!
Cedric closes his fist, releasing his magic from Wong. The sorcerer drops down to ground, concrete ripping through his flesh.
You know, your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough
Cedric fires off bolts of lightning from his hands. As each one makes contact with Wong, the sorcerer’s body spasms under the electric shock.
And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Cedric holds up his hand, bringing Wong's body up into the air.
Let me pontificate upon your sorry state
The cuts and bruises Wong has disappears as oxygen no longer flows into his lungs.
*You're only second ra- - *
As the musical sorcerer sings, he is cut off by the playing of a flute. The Sorcerer drops his control of Wong as snakes begin to crawl up his body in tune with the music. The noise totally ends as a man runs over to Wong, helping him up. Wong rubs his back while saying, “Thanks for the assist Adi.”
Letting go of the old sorcerer, Adi places his lips to his flute. All of the snakes drop off the previously singing man, other than the ones binding his arms and legs.
Adi asks, “What do you want?”
The man simply smirks, “Snake Charmer, is it? I know American heroes are rude but I never expected heroes in the east to be the same. Hello, how are you? My name is Cedric. You have the green shard that belongs to me.”
Adi turns to Wong and asks, “What is he talking about?”
Wong replies, “The shard I gave you. He thinks you still have it.”
Adi nods in understanding before saying, “Good thing I sent it back through FedEx when you asked. When was that, two months ago?”
Agrily, Cedric spits out, “What, you’ve already got the shard? Then why the hell are you in India?”
Adi quickly adds, “I was going to ask the same thing. Even if he is your enemy, I can take care of threats in India.”
Wong frowns and lets out a sigh, “With Strange dealing with magic users in New York, I’m on union duty. I have to negotiate new contracts with the Indian Sorcerers. Supposedly they got word from the Moscow sanctum that protesting works.”
Cedric lets out a dry laugh, “The greatest ally of the Sorcerer Supreme demoted to Union duty.”
Wong scowls at the villains and says, “Yes, yes laugh it up. I still have Brazil and Japan to get to. Now that you know the shard isn’t here, can we just end this?”
Cedric lets out a smile and responds, “I believe so. Now that I know neither of you have it, neither of you are of importance.
The sorcerer belts out the lyrics, “And no one knows...how far I’ll go.” With that he disappears into dust. As the snakes that were holding him finish dropping to the floor, the small outhouse portal that Wong arrived in is crushed by a 40 foot tall king cobra.
Adi quickly begins to play the flute again. He takes turns stopping and forcefully screaming commands at the beast .
As the snake continues to come closer to the two, Wong says, “Looks like you being a parseltongue isn’t getting us out of this one. Do you have a sorting hat of sorts to use?”
Adi gives Wong a glare to which Wong replies, “Oh come on. It’s a giant snake. This will be easy.”
To prove his point, Wong blasts a ball of fire at the behemoth. The blast hits, not slowing the snake down. Sighing, Wong begins to run towards the snake. A meter away, Wong jumps into the air. Quickly teleporting blades into his hands, the sorcerer throws a dagger. As Wong lands on the beast's head, the dagger he threw hits its target, the eye of the beast.
The snake lets out a hiss that could have been confused with a scream of pain. The beast begins to thrash around, Wong barely staying on. The sorcerer attempts to use this to his advantage. He allows the snake to throw him off. Using the time in the air to strike a second dagger into the other eye.
The beast hisses once again as its head drops to the floor. Mid hiss, the beast is dead. Wong looks towards Adi and says, “You see, easy. Only took two dagger laced in fast acting poison.”
Adi shakes his head with a smile on his face, “It’s good to see you, Wong. Even if it is just for tea, come over more often. Your wisdom is always appreciated.”
Wong smiles and says, “Thanks, but no can do. I’m cutting down on the hot tea. Doctor’s orders. He says that I’m having too much caffeine. When that doctor is also your boss, you tend to listen.”
Adi holds back a laugh and says, “Then it will be for talking.”
Wong nods his head, “That sounds like a nice break from saving the world and teaching. I may have to take you up on that offer.”
Adi nods as Wong brushes off his clothes. Without another word said, Wong begins walking to face the greatest evil of all: lawyers.
A trembling Ms. C drops to her knees in the house formerly owned by Mr. Crow. The scattered attic of the blessed man, morphed into a shadowy ritual room. The shards of the eye currently collected lay glowing on a pedestal of mahogany. The candles surround the room but seemingly don’t touch it. A glow of light permeating the edges but lost in the center.
In a voice so shaky that the words are almost impossible to understand, Mrs. C stutters out, “Dormammu, lord of the Dark Dimension, future ruler of the nine realms, I request to speak with you.”
Almost immediately a tornado of flames erupts in front of the sorceress. Spirals of green, blue, orange and red circle each other, smothering each other. At the tip, they raise into flames, into a circle spiral. Eyes of pure white take up a quarter of the flaming face. A grin of black takes up a whole third. The head lets out a small growl as Dormammu demands, “What is the matter? I give you a job more important than any of the others and you come to me?”
Mrs. C steadies her breath and she replies, “My lord, my master, we must talk of my task. I have done the necessary research.”
Dormammu glares at her as he questions, “What research is required? I gave you my power, my magic. Is that not enough?”
Ms. C stammers to reply, “N-n-no my lord, your power is more than sufficient. I simply did not know how to do it. I had to research the spells and rituals required.”
Dormammu, satisfied with the answer, asks, “What does the research say, my daughter?”
Ms. C replies, “Bringing that much power onto Earth before the eye is complete is dangerous. The dimensional boundaries are already lowered due to Wundagore. Right now it may be only dimensions close to Earth, but to destroy the borders anymore could lead to the collapse of reality itself. The laws of reality are made up by each dimension, if these were to interact in an unknown way, the effects will be catastrophic.”
Dormammu screams out asking, “Do you not trust me to keep you safe? Do you not think me powerful enough to protect you?”
The flames making up Dormammu’s head rise. Angrily they eat at the darkness. The room raises in temperature, the sweat on Ms. C’s face evaporating off her skin.
Hurriedly, Ms. C responds, “No, my great and all powerful leader. I simply believed it important to bring it to your attention.”
Angrily, Dormmamu says, “The process shall continue. We will start the process with the test subject you brought to us a few days ago. Yes, I am talking about the mindless one. He will not be intelligent enough to protest.”
Bowing deeper, Ms. C says, “Of course, Father.”
As the flames die down only one thought is going through Ms. C’s head: her plan has to work, if not she won’t live long enough to see reality collapse. She can only hope that Tahiti was the right choice of a test subject.
Moriarty is pacing around his empty little room. Well, calling it a room is giving it too much credit. It is in all actuality the space at the end of the story, his story. When discovering the ins and outs of the storybook world he discovered there are three parts. There is the tale, the cover and the shelf. He right now is in the cover, a place to hang out in between his many times through the story.
As he paces, thinking of how to destroy the shelf and combine the many planes of tales together, Hannibal Lector comes running in, licking his lips in pure ecstasy.
Without a break in his pace, Moriarty asks, “Have you found a use for our interplanetary friends?”
Smiling, Lector replies, “Their blood makes a scrumptious sauce. It works with anything: eyes, brains, flesh.”
Moriarty shakes his head and says, “I needed an army, not a dinner.”
Lector frowns as he responds, “They make a poor army. They die from any disease, even the common flu.”
Moriarty still shaking his head, explains, “”Humans need to feel superior. It was an obvious ending when the story overall shows the power of the aliens. While intellectually the aliens are superior, the author had to work in that biologically humans are stronger.”
Lector says, “But they are in a different tale.”
Moriarty replies, “Rule number one of the twelve rules of interconnecting tales: a being shall keep their natural rules even when placed in a different realm of being.”
Moriarty begins to walk out of the cover when Lector stops him, “Moriarty, we are smart, but this being is on another level. Leave him to his wasteland.”
Moriarty attempts to ignore Lector who continues, “He doesn’t do deals. He hates all of humanity. Going there, you are leaving yourself to his will. He can kill you, devolve you, mutate you or just obliterate your soul.”
Moriarty smirks and says, “He hates humans, not fictional characters. I simply must convince him of the truth.”
Shaking his head, Lector says, “Moriarty, wait until we are more prepared. I know you are angry but killing Sherlock again is a better way to get out your anger. You are NOT a god.”
With a cackle Moriarty disputes, “I am a god. You know why? I think, therefore I AM.”
submitted by DarkLordJurasus to MarvelsNCU [link] [comments]


2020.05.19 00:08 cordial_cryptid Your Future Husband Had Better Be A Christian and A Godly Man! How do I deal with Christian parents who really harp on my possible relationships?

It's about to get long so here are my questions:
How have you dealt with romantic relationships as ex-Christains? How did you find someone you clicked with after years of purity culture? How on earth do I deal with parents who will disapprove of any romantic non-christian relationship I have? Have any of you had parents like this before?

As long as I can remember my parents have pushed the idea that I must marry a Christian man. When I was a little girl, still in elementary school, I would ask any boys I had a crush on if they went to church, if they were Christian, and what church they went to. This is because my mother had told me some people said they were Christians but really weren't saved. We could tell more about if they were real Christians if we knew what church they attended. I cringe now, but back then it was normal. Christianity was ingrained in me from before I could count to 100 and so was the focus on avoiding being unequally yoked.
Later in life when I was more in middle school my mother told me that I shouldn't date a unbeliever. I asked why. She told me that I may fall in love with them but I couldn't marry them because they didn't believe in God. She told me about how the Bible warned against tying yourself to a unbelieving person. How it often ended in divorce in real life. Sometimes growing up I felt like I'd never find anybody to marry because I was born again in God and all the boys in church who were my age weren't attractive. They weren't interesting. They never spoke to me and rarely spoke to the other girls. But I was resolved to marry a good Christian man. After all, worldly Christians (or worse unbelievers) were immoral and would try to pressure me into having sex before marriage. Then they'd leave me alone and I'd be ruined forever.
When my parents found out in High school that I was friends with an atheist guy they weren't too enthusiastic. They thought he was alright as a friend, but my father warned me away from him romantically. My Dad asked what church he attended and my friend said, "none". Then after my friend left my dad lamented his lack of faith and told me I shouldn't date him as he's a "non-christian." Then they both gave me snippets of how they dated non-christians and it didn't end well. This happened multiple times whenever my friend would hang out with me. "Better not date him", "He's an unbeliever", and so on. In any sour relationships that ended ugly in divorce between a Christian and a non-Christian they point to the spouse's lack of christianity as the reason it didn't work out. Not incompatibility, not the fact that both people were shitty, the reason is belief.
From there on they have continuously hammered the idea that my future spouse HAS to be Christian. They say the most important thing about my future husband is that he's Christian. Then they've been interested in seeing how I feel about a guy from church. I'll call him A. We're sort of family friends I suppose but I never really knew this guy. He's alright looking and not much older than me. My mom will ask me what I think about him, if I like him. She says she can tell he likes me and Dad says the same and how he "wouldn't mind seeing A and I date because he knows A is a good guy." And don't get me wrong, A isn't bad looking. He seems alright. I've only met the guy like 3 times and I've spoken to him twice. But I know I shouldn't get attached. After all, I can't be unequally yoked. It's ironic they don't see it that I'm the problem. It annoys me.
All these years I've seen unbelievers demonized and been warned away from being in a relationship with one. Now I am an ex-Christian but no one knows it and they're interested in seeing me with a "godly young man". They've no idea I'm the "poison" in the hypothetical relationship. Now that I'm no longer Christian it actually makes me feel like I'll never find anyone to be with because so many people are Christian and none of them are allowed to be with me. Nor would they want to because of the whole apostate business. I'm dreading and anticipating the day I may find someone who I really like who isn't Christian and bring them home. I know our relationship won't be approved of. But that also makes me wonder about marriage. Because I'd love to get married but that likely means I'll be pressured not to marry an unbeliever and to have my wedding in a church, and to have my wedding officiated by a pastor, and to do traditional vows (which I abhor due to the submission bullshit), and to not have any of the other fun pagan-esque things I would want in my wedding. Sorry this was long, it just kind of all came out.
submitted by cordial_cryptid to exchristian [link] [comments]


2020.04.23 01:07 idkwhatmyunameis Unforgiven

Have you ever felt like someone was watching you? That was how I felt. I mean, if I had to describe the feeling, it was as if I knew someone was watching me but couldn’t quite figure out where they were. The feeling sent chills down my spine and made goosebumps on my arm. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up, my heart was beating hard. But the scariest part was how I felt that unrelenting, uncanny, and intense stare of someone’s eyes watching me. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her.
Let me backtrack a bit. And let me start by saying this ain’t one of those stories where everything turns out happy and everyone lives happily ever after and shit. Hell you probably won’t believe the story I’m about to tell you. But shit, sometimes the most important stories you can tell are those where no one believes in them. So I’ll give you the honest account. This is the testimony, the truth, of what happened between me and my fucked up girlfriend.
We were staying in a cabin up in Maine for a little get away together during the winter of 79’. We had been going out two years, and the house I had up there was one we had already visited on occasion before. When I was a kid I used to stay up there with my family in the summers, and had used to spend the days out of school playing football or baseball or even swimming in the lake up there with my siblings. For a fucked thing like this to happen to me -- I would have never expected it to happen there.
Anyway, I was pretty sure she was the one, you know? She was undoubtedly pretty too, not too fat, not too skinny, not too tall, not too short, blonde, beautiful face, perfectly tanned skin. We had barely ever gotten into any argument or fight, we were interested in the same sort of things, shared the same fucked sense of humor, hell, I swear I would have proposed to her if this shit hadn’t happened. We had already been up at that cabin for a few days, when I started it all. Yes, although up to this point I’ve been putting all the blame on her, if it weren’t for what I did that night maybe none of this would have happened. But I swear she somehow planned it, made me, forced me to do it to her.
I had probably had one too many drinks that night, but was otherwise minding my own business. Just sitting on our couch in the living room, watching the TV. I think some dumb comedy tv -- I forget. She was in the kitchen, cleaning our dishes from dinner. It was normal. But, somehow, I swear, she didn’t want it to be. She suddenly stopped cleaning. To this day I don’t know why the fuck she brought it up then of all times, but she had her mind set on it I guess.
“Gavin, I need to talk to you”, she said.
I looked up from the TV. In my two years of dating her and five plus years of knowing her, I had never seen the expression that she had on her face that night. I turned off the TV as she moved to sit down next to me on the couch. I looked her in the eye, already starting to hate her. I’m telling you -- she forced me to do it. That was probably the first time in my life I had ever hated her.
“Gavin. Remember that time by the lake?”
Lake, I thought. The fuck was she on about?
“When you said one time would be fine, that one time only, and there would be nearly no chance?”
My memory flashed back to a warmer day that last fall. A car. A lake. Love. I nodded my head slowly, my anger for her still growing. She drawled out her next words. I swear it was as if she was trying to provoke me.
“Gavin, I’m pregnant”
I paused. Clenched my hand around the beer I was holding.
“And I want to keep her”, she went on.
Remember I was 22 at that time, coming from a hella religous no-sex-until-marriage sort of family. I didn’t have a lot of money. We were both already in debt from school. My hands moved before, I could stop them. I swear, it wasn’t me that did the next thing, it was the demon inside. The one she provoked, the one she wanted for me to use. The better side of me did nothing to stop my hand as it threw the beer bottle at her face. It shattered, she got knocked back and fell off the couch. She seemed knocked out. Just over one fucking beer bottle to the head too, I thought. What a weak bitch.
Those thoughts surprised myself. I had never thought of her as weak. I rarely ever had a negative thought about her cross my mind ever. Until then, that is. I couldn’t think too hard about it though. Her face had started to bleed. A lot. The dozen or so cuts caused by that beer bottle shattering across her face were starting to gush blood. Funnily enough, my first reaction to her blood wasn’t thinking about whether or not she was ok, either. Hell I couldn’t give less of a shit about her, right then. Weirdly enough my only real concern was that she was going to stain the carpet if I didn’t do something about her. The same carpet, I had many years ago meticulously put down with my father. At that point I stood up. I looked at her in the eyes. She still semeed pretty fucking knocked out. I looked to the kitchen, saw our empty pantry, and again my body moved before I could really even think about it.
The pantry that I was referring to is a smallish walk-in type cupboard with shelving and a door. I slowly stuffed her knocked out body into that pantry. I did it carefully, and cautiously, as if I didn’t want to be seen, even though there was no one around me for miles. I could hear her breathing as I did it. When I had finally forced the door shut, the fact that she was still very much alive bothered me. Hell, she could wake up any second, I thought to myself. At the time that fact felt unacceptable to me. As if I had failed. As if I had somehow failed her by not finishing her off.
The more I thought about it the more mad I got, and, I’ll be quite frank with you I fucking murdered that bitch before my brain could even think to stop me. I could hear my heart beating faster in my chest as I grabbed the knife from the kitchen and stabbed her right in her heart. I wasn’t expecting her to scream. The loudest fucking sound I had ever heard a human make, just as I was piercing her breast. She stared at me as she let out her final breath, after making that god awful noise. Can you believe that, she had the nerve to fucking stare at me. Stranger though, was how she almost smiled, as she lay there dying. She screamed, stared, and I swear to god almost smiled at me when she took her final breath. Then she stopped breathing. I felt for her pulse -- it wasn’t there. That bitch was finally dead. And I’ll tell you, she fucking deserved to die that night. But if I knew what the fuck I had just started you bet your ass I would have never layed a hand on her. Because she’s always alive. She’s always fucking there man.
You might think I’m a fucking lunatic murderer. That I deserve death, or at least jail. But I’m a good person I swear. And I regret every day what I did that day, believe me. For the next few minutes after her death I just stood there. With that closet door open, shaking. I could still hear my heart beating loudly in my chest. I felt like I was going to throw up. Then I did. Right on her body too. Didn’t even move.
You might think you can imagine what it feels like to know you have killed someone. To have taken their life on this earth away from them. Forcibly, without consent. Fucking painfully have tortued someone right to their last second. But, believe me, you don’t know what it’s like unless you’ve done it yourself. Lest I can say it feels like fucking shit. I ain’t a crier. I’ve cried exactly twice in my whole fucking adult life. But I cried that night. In bed, staring up at the ceiling, blood still on my hands and clothes. I fucking cried and I fucking prayed that night. Pleading God to forgive me. I swear I never meant to kill her man. But she fucking made me. She somehow asked me to fucking do it. What’s worse, I fucking killed our baby too. This is all her fucking fault, man.
I didn’t sleep well that night. Of course not that I expected I would. I shook and cried till at least 2 or 3 am before I could finally get my eyes closed. Shortly after that I must have fell into something like sleep ‘cause I fucking rememeber the nightmares. I expected not to sleep good, but I didn’t expect the fucking nightmares. That night seemed to fucking drag on for eternity. The 2 hours of sleep I did fucking get felt like a lifetime. A lifetime of fucking toture.
I was in that same cabin, in that same bed. The same one we had slept together in. The same one we had made love in and woken up next to each other in. I was in that bed and I was awake. And she was there, too. But she was demented. She was only there in spirit. In a fucked up demonic way, in a way that made me scared. She was staring at me. There, in the corner of the room. Fucking staring. But as I looked closer I saw what she was holding. Our fucked up baby. No, not our baby. The corpse of our baby. With a knife through its heart, right where I had stabbed her. I fucking jumped back in my bed. My heart was pounding, I felt the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I let out a small sob. Then she started right at me. Holding our fucking baby out to me, as if offering it to me. Then she grinned. Partially fucking smiled at me. As if this was amusing for her. That’s what made me scream. Just like how she screamed when I killed her. That’s what made me wake up.
I was in a pool of sweat, and still shaking from that nightmare. I looked at my bed side stand alarm clock, it was 5:30. I took a deep breath. It was just a fucking dream, I thought. Just a fucking dream. I stared at the ceiling, just lying there for another half hour before I finally got up with my alarm at 6. Time to get rid of that fucking body, I thought -- and fuck come up with something to tell the police. I had fucking forgot about the police in all this so far. Well, shit, we were supposed to be up here for another six days, I reassured myself. Ain’t nobody gonna look for her until at least, then. I had time, I thought, as I climbed down the last step into our kitchen. That’s when I noticed the stains that should have been on the carpet from her blood was gone. I fucking ran to that pantry and swung open the door. She was gone. Not a trace of blood, not a trace of the whole fucking murder. Hell even the knife I had used to do it was right back on our knife rack, as if it had never been touched. I almost fucking fainted.
You ever have a day that feels off? Like you feel fucking slow, or like the whole thing could just be a dream and you might wake up in your bed any minute and everything would be over? The rest of my day felt like that. After taking in the fact that she was fucking gone, I tried to get my shit together a little. I tried to start thinking of excuses to say when I came back to Chicago in 6 days without her. She just ran off, that’s what I’ll tell them, I thought. She was here with my one night and the next, poof, fucking gone. That made me chuckle a little too, cause in part, it was the truth. Damn was I naive.
Other than having just fucking killed a person, that day was rather uneventful, if I can say that. But I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach the whole day, like I was being watched. I reassured myself that that was probably just my mind fucking with me after having just killed her. I tried to convince myself she was gone, hell maybe even survived and cleaned up her own blood or some shit before just walking out last night. I knew that was fucking impossible though. But like I said earlier, I was good about keeping my cool. Some people might have freaked at that point. Called the cops or something. But I tried to go about my day as if nothing had happened. Made myself breakfast, showered, shaved, went for a run, watched TV...
Everytime she entered my mind that day though, I’d only feel guilty for a second about what I had done. You see, there was the darker side of my mind, the side that made me kill her in the first place, the one that got fucking infurated just at the thought of her. That side of my mind told me it was ok. That she deserved to fucking die. That part of my mind scared me. But like I said, I realized the reality of my muder like a man, went on about my day, didn’t call nobody, didn’t cry anymore, I tried to be strong. I can’t help but think now how useless those attempts were in the end. She wouldn’t let me just keep living like that. She never fucking could just let me be. Finally, after the sun had set, and I was astonishingly growing a little tired again, I decided I’d try to go to bed. As I walked past the pantry where her body used to be again, though, I fucking froze. I swear, I could fucking smell her there. Her fucking body, rotting, right where it would be if I hadn’t moved it. I felt like an idiot as I even put my hand right through the place where her body should be and felt nothing. She’s not there, it’s just your body playing tricks on you, I tried to tell myself. Still, though, I swear I could smell her fucking reeking, decomposing body.
The next day was when I started to miss her. Even that darker side of my mind seemed to miss her. Have you ever missed someone so much that your skin crawls? So much that you actually hurt inside? I have. And of all fucking people, I missed, it was her. I thought about what we could have been doing right now if it weren’t for me killing her. We might have had a picnic. Hell we might have even gone hiking together or some shit. But there was just me, now. Just me in the cabin. Shit, it could have even been the isolation that made me miss her so fucking much, or maybe just because I knew I was responsible for her absence. But, man did I start to feel lonely that day. In hindsight I didn’t have to fucking worry though, she never fucking left, man.
But when you’re alone, and I mean truly alone, you don’t know if you’ve gone crazy or not, you see. Because there’s just you, just you and nobody to tell you you aren’t crazy. And of course what fucking good is you telling you you aren’t crazy, cause if you were you’d still tell yourself you weren’t. That fear of going crazy fucking escalates when you start seeing shit.
It was the evening of my second day without her when I started to see her. First, just every now and again out of the corner of my eye, just standing there, in that pantry, watching me. Every time I saw her though, as soon as I turned my head to get a better look she fucking disapeeared. Must just be my mind playing tricks on me then, I thought. But I swear man, and this shit freaks me out to this fucking day. I felt her watching me. That’s what was fucking scary. She didn’t even do anything to me, didn’t so much as say one fucking “boo”. But I swear she was always just watching -- I could feel it even if I couldn’t see it. I didn’t have to wait long though. As I was brushing my teeth that night, I saw her again, but this time in my mirror. My heart started to beat faster. I stared into her eyes -- they seemed different, dead somehow. Hell, they didn’t even look like fucking eyes, just black holes where her beautiful green eyes should have been. I blinked hard to try and get rid of her. She was still there. She was still there, and she was walking closer to me with what looked like a baby doll in her hands. Fuck, I must be dreaming or some shit, I fucking thought. I fucking panicked. With my eyes closed I turned around, and yelled “Get the fuck out of here you bitch!”, or something like that anyway. When I opened my eyes she was gone.
I think after I “woke up” on the third day without her I had gotten like 5 hours of sleep total over the last three nights. I swear I could feel her stare even as I tried to sleep. That day was when she started to fucking speak to me. Or at least I started to speak to myself through her or something. I pegged hearing her voice in my head as just something my brain was doing because I missed her so much and knew her for so long. But the stuff she said to me, it made me shudder. She fucking did this. It’s all her fucking fault.
“Gavin”, I heard in my thoughts. I heard it spoken just as she would have too, just as she sounded right before she told me she was pregnant. And at first, that’s all her voice said, my name. Over and over. You might think I’m crazy -- I’m not though. I know I’m not. Believe what you will, but I ain’t fucking insane man. She is, not me. The next day though, that was when she started encouraging me to do things. To cut myself. To starve myself. And eventually to kill myself. I got worse, I’m not gonna lie. For two days I didn’t eat, scarred myself with razor blades. Hell I remember the night of the fifth day without her I fucking used a knife to write on my arm, well to cut into my arm, her name. “Sophia” is still scarred into my left forearm today.
The sixth day is when I really fucking lost it though. No, sorry, actually I didn’t. She did. She made me lose myself. I was fucking shaking when I got out of bed that day. Barely made it downstairs without falling. Steadied myself on the banister as I was on my final step. I looked at the pantry where her body should have been. I smelt the most repulsing fucking scent. I tried to throw up right there on the final step, but couldn’t, hadn’t been eating anything to throw up. Just stood there dry-heaving like a bitch. I cried a few tears again. I heard her laughing in my head. I had to get out. I had to fucking end this shit. I managed to walk down past the pantry to the front door and get outside on our porch. I heard her fucking guffawing at me. As if my thought that I could just walk up and leave the place was remarkably amusing to her. I yelled out loud from my porch, “Fucking stop it! Leave me the fuck alone!”. Then I whispered, no fucking whimpered out the words “Please”, as I started to shake more and more violently. I felt sick. I felt faint. I heard her voice in my head, “Gavin” it said, softly.
Then I felt a strong sense of deja-vu. Like I had been here before, like in a dream or something. Then I shuddered. I was terrified. I remembered that dream I had. This was that dream, and I felt her watching me. I fell to the porch floor. I looked up and saw her through the open door, standing in that pantry. Calling to me. Smirking ever so slightly. Holding out our deformed baby. She came silently toward me. I was petrified, I just lay there like a bitch. She walked right fucking up to me, kneeled down right to my eyes, and held out our ghost-baby. It had a knife in its heart and was bleeding black fucking blood. Sophia watched me as I stared at the baby that was now being held up about 3 inches away from my face. Sophia laughed. The baby’s eyes -- if you could call them that, they were actually just black fucking sockets, opened up. It smiled at me, then it started to laugh too. I felt tears stream down my cheeks. I closed my eyes, and mouthed, in one final desperate hope to get them away from me, “Please God. Please.” Suddenly, the baby started to cry. No it started to fucking sob, loud and clear, right next to my face, and then I heard her scream just as she did when I stabbed her. I fucking passed out.
I was never that religious. My family, on the other hand, they were as Christain as you could get. No swearing in our house growing up. Crosses everywhere. Went to church every fucking Sunday without fail till I moved out. My brother was kicked out of the house when he was 17 cause he came out as gay. Yeah they were fuckin Christain, alright. Well, regardless, in all that time going to church and praying and shit, I ain’t ever heard back from Jesus. Not one word from his fucking mouth helped me out. Not when my grandma got cancer, not when a tornado tore down our house when I was 7, not when my dad lost his job. He did fucking nothing for me then. But I woke up on that porch to rain, to a fucking downpore. I felt better. I realized I hadn’t drunk a drop of water in the last day. I opened my mouth wide, let the rain water cool down my feverish body. The sun wasn’t up anymore, and my watch told me it was 11:57 at night. I must have been passed out for at least 15 hours. Well I got down on my fucking knees, out there. In the fucking rain, in the cold, and I prayed.
Please forgive me, please God. I swear if you get me through this, I told God, I’ll do anything. I’ll never sin again. I’ll help other people, start going to church again. Anything. I begged him to help me out there. I told God I was sorry I killed her, but that I repented. I pleaded to him to get me out of this. Then I heard a response. I swear man, I ain’t crazy, but I now know that that sure as hell wasn’t God. That was the fucking devil I was talking to. I was henceforth forgiven He said. He told me to go out and do good, and that I was forgiven. That I could be reborn, without her in my life. It told me that I was free, that my repentance was sufficient. That I could be free of my sin. I passed out again.
I blinked my eyes open. The sun was scorching and bright. There was clear sky above me. I was hungry, but I felt better, free. I remembered talking to God last night, I remembered the promise I had made with him. I would from then on be a Christain, and funnily enough from then I actually did start to believe, but it sure as hell ain’t for the reason you think. I got up slowly, stretching out my joints. I heard birds chirping, as if they too were celebrating my rebirth. I didn’t feel faint anymore, didn't feel sick, just a little hungry. That’s when I turned around to go inside and saw the box.
It was about 6 ft long and tall, it was damp around the corners, and it smelled like shit. If God was ever going to send a message to you you wouldn’t think he’d do it by mail. But this box was sure as hell from an unearthly world and neatly on the top was my address. I tore it open, and found her inside. Her whole body -- or at least what hadn’t decomposed of it -- knife still in her chest, and all. I cried tears of joy. Somehow, I knew this meant she was gone. That I had fucking won. I looked up to the sky and yelled out loud a thank you. Thank God, praise be, I had done it, really fucking done it, and I owed God one for it. Then I heard a soft cry. I looked back down into the box, and there I saw the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. As I picked her up she stopped crying -- she fucking knew. She was such a small cute thing, must have been just newly born. She looked up at me -- she had her mother’s eyes. Right then I decided to name her Sophia, after her mom, who had undoubtedly died too soon. Then I cried, but this time it was tears of joy.
As I was bringing her in, I saw something else right beside that box. It was an envelope, it also had my address on it. I opened it up carefully, and found an almost entirely blank piece of paper. Written small in Sophia’s handwriting though, right in the middle of the sheet, were the words “You are forgiven”. I looked up at the sky and smiled. I promised God right then and there that I would always take care of Sophia. That I would do everything I could to ensure her safety and happiness.
That was 5 year ago, and that was the worst fucking decision I ever made. And that decision is why I’m writing this, and that is why I’m going to kill myself tomorrow. Because you’re never truly forgiven. God never forgives. And Sophia never fucking forgets.
-A. Jalili
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2020.03.30 22:38 Muted_Independent Notes and Highlights of Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear’s Live Update March 30, 2020

Notes and Highlights of Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear’s Live Update March 30, 2020
As usual, a big shout out to mr_tyler_durden for teaming up on this project with me
Note: We may need to paraphrase, but the notes are accurate
Watch here:
Headlines
Full Notes
QUESTIONS
END QUESTIONS
I’d like to thank all those out there doing what you need to be doing. But we need to do better. But every positive decision has a positive impact, but all the negative things done are putting lives at risk. This is our chance and our time. Follow the rules and stay home. If we are the generation that had to stay away from each other in the most connected world we have ever seen and are willing to do it, to take on a world-wide pandemic, that would say that we are a great generation and great people. So, I’m gonna end with a video of our young people showing behavior we want to model. So I believe it is McCracken County High School, and made this 2 minute video for their teachers. This shows how we can use social media and technology to interact for the better. Goodnight.
Please use these hashtags on social media (Twitter, FB, etc): #TeamKentucky #KYTogether #Patriot #HealthyAtHome
If you have been laid off/lost your job use the following resources to get help!
KY Medicaid: https://healthbenefitexchange.ky.gov (855-459-6328)
Benefind: https://benefind.ky.gov (855-306-8959)
You can find more information on our Wiki! Including our past daily updates!
We are also up and running on Discord here: https://discord.gg/WGUedkB
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2020.03.15 19:37 iEnjinere Are we living in the last seconds of the church age?

Are we living in the last seconds of the church age?
  1. The Bible is the one and only true word.
  2. I'm not posting this out of fear.
  3. My grandma wrote this. She has wrote it over a few years. She gave this to me and my wife 6-12 months ago and nothing has been changed in it since. I just read it today. Not sure on exact date of completion. Brief rundown on her below.
My grandma is a Christain that is very intune with the Holy Spirit. One of her gifts is the Lord gives her messages. She told me this, there is no physical proof of it. A little flashback: I remember going into her bedroom where her and her mom we're praying. They prayed how I imagined people in the Bible to pray; with full sincerity, boldness, and faith. Drenched in tears and shaking. How we should be praying (preaching to myself there). She has seen healings and other amazing things. (For the record, she has not healed anyone). Anyways, I wanted to give a short preface on her, because this came from her. You can take it for what you think it is worth. She did not ask me to post it. So it is not great propoganda from her.
Just rember my #1 at the top. The Bible is the true word. She references the Bible a lot in this report, but also gives her own own insights. Some of the stuff she talks about I have not heard of, but she has done extensive research and talked to many respected people about it. She has been telling family about this for a while now. She is not a preacher. She tells what she knows to those around, and stops when asked to stop. She is very nice and is a very normal person.
I say all this to give you a back story. I definitely don't want to deceive! Again read the Bible make sure your hearts are prepared whether we are in the end times or not. In light of recent events the past few years I just wanted to share and get others thoughts.
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2020.02.18 02:47 TwilightMountain I can't tell if my friend is straight or is actually questioning, and I need advice because I'm falling for her really hard and really fast

This is going to be pretty long but I could use all the help I can get! I know there's an age difference, I've given the entire thing so much thought and at the end of the day I'd do just about anything to be with her and the 8 years difference doesn't matter to me.
I (f19) have a friend (f27) who I'm starting to fall for really really fast. She knows I'm a lesbian. She has a boyfriend of almost 2 years who lies, manipulates and abuses her, also a drug addict since they knew eachother in high school but he is in rehab upstate about 3 hours away right now. He is coming home for a few days on the 29th of this month.
Her and I started texting a lot and hanging out after I rode with her to drop him off at rehab around the 28th of this past December. Now we see eachother whenever we can. She has a 7 year old son with her ex husband that I absolutely adore, and he really likes me too.
She stops by my house so we can sit in her car and talk whenever she gets off work early enough or doesn't have her son, my dog recently had puppies so whenever she stops by I bring a puppy out to her car and she holds it and stuff til she has to leave. I know she is in love with the puppies but I also get the feeling she uses wanting to see the puppies as an excuse to see me more? A few weeks ago we were texting and she told me she has kissed a few girls before cause she got curious, and mentioned how her bf likes to joke that she's bisexual. She never clarified though, and I always assume she is straight because she's only dated guys and only kissed a few girls saying "everyone gets curious at some point" which I guess she's right. She is extremely loyal to whoever she is with though, staying with her ex husband until after he physically abused her one day and already was talking to her current bf (platonically because she didnt want to be inappropriate, although she knew he liked her). Right now she is sending her bf gifts and buying him cigarettes while in rehab, and trying to figure out a place for him to stay while he comes and visits for a few days. She went as far as to take a couple days off work for the week he is out (she already has weekends off, so she has 4 days off total) so they can spend more time together. And right now she is thinking about maybe going upstate and getting a hotel and rental car for those days instead of him coming down and visiting. She is really bending over backwards to figure things out for him. Not to mention he racked up $12-14,000 in credit card debt that she is paying off alone. He has been caught stealing and been arrested while her son was with them, and it almost caused her sons dad to take her to court to get primary custody cause he found out. Her bf has also wrecked and totaled her car while high. I should mention she is not involved in drugs or criminal activity at all, she has only ever smoked pot, gone to college to study criminal psychology, always had a steady job and a good home. She just has a really bad taste in guys and thinks she deserves this shitty treatment. She told me recently if her bf gets involved in drugs again she doesnt want to but she will have to break things off with him cause she has only ever enabled him and she has a son she has to worry about and put first. Now it gets to where I'm confused. Because I assume she is straight, yet she comes and sees me whenever she can and ALWAYS invites me to go out with her whenever she goes out to eat or do anything. Recently I've started spending the entire weekend at her house, or sometimes even spending the night in the middle of her workweek. I'll sleep in the bed with her and her son. He has his own room, he just likes to sleep in her bed. So she sleeps on one side, I sleep on the other, and her son sleeps between us laying the opposite way so his head is at our feet. Anyways, I spent this past weekend at her house and I woke up every night numerous times because she was laying right up against me, sometimes with her arm or legs on top of me. She warned me she was a bed hog, I really don't mind, but she stayed on her side of the bed the first weekend I spent the night. Other times I'll wake up and she will be laying face to face with me, as close as possible and sorta snuggling with me. Idk if she is just gravitating to my body heat (she's always cold)or if she is purposefully doing it. She has trichotillomania (where people pull out hair, or play with their hair as a comfort thing) and so she loves when I play with her hair so I do it whenever we get the chance. She told me I could play with her hair if I woke up in the middle of the night too, cause it helps relax me, so I'll wake up with my hand in her hair and her scooting closer to me. Last night she wasnt feeling well and layed down, and so I was playing with her hair and she was cold so I covered her up. She kept scooting closer to me, saying she couldn't get comfortable, then she rolled over to face me and we were so close we were basically snuggling. I had one hand in her hair kinda massaging her scalp, and told her I could rub her back too if she wanted which she did so we were even closer. She kept moving her legs til our feet were touching. Whenever we brush feet by accident she teases and says "it's okay I like playing footsies" then laughing and giving me a goofy ass smile that kills me. 
We had made plans to go to her cousins house after brunch, she wanted coffee and he wasnt home yet so we went back to her house for a little bit to wait on him to get home before we headed that way. We both ended up laying down and I was playing with her hair for a good half hour. We had to leave soon so she rolled over on her back basically on top of me to stretch and put her arm over me and just lay like that, it was super comfortable. I ended up getting enough courage to put my arm around her waist. We were snuggling like that for about 10 minutes til her son needed help with something and she had to roll back over and away from me. Her son was pushing her buttons and she playfully joked to him "boy I'm gonna slap you" and I said "she says that to me all the time dont worry about it" and laughed and looked up at her and she gave me a little pop on the cheek. So of course I did it back, and then a wrestling match/slapping war ensued where we were trying to give light little smacks on eachother cheeks. Her son was doing it too, so we were all on her bed wrestling and me and her ended up trying to block each others hands and ended up holding hands. I started to win so she got on top of me and started straddling me the majority of the time, pinning me down and grabbing my hands and wrists and stuff. Idk I felt like she was on top of me a lottttt and just sitting on top of me staring at me, it felt more than friendly.
On valentines day she invited me to go to the movies and watch the new sonic movie with her and her son, of course I wanted to. We didnt get the tickets in time so instead the 3 of us went out to eat at a restaurant and she had a couple beers and whenever she gets a little tipsy she touches me a lot more. We went and saw the movie Saturday instead and whenever a funny part would happen she would laugh and look over at me and kinda stare to see if I was laughing too. Like holding the stare longer than normal if that makes sense.
Then on Sunday morning we went to brunch (she said brunch is the only acceptable time to drink alcohol during the day lol) and had 3 mimosas, which she is a lightweight and it made her pretty tipsy. We went to Walgreens to get cold medicine and she was looking at it and kinds fell into me, then just stayed that way leaning on me. When we came back out to the car I had hid her cigarettes, so she climbed over on me and was looking for them, then was like hugging me and caressing my face playfully pouting for them back. I gave them back and she said "this is actually comfortable" so kept her head on my shoulder and her hand on my face for another minute or so. She also started playing with my hair saying it was pretty and likes how long hair looks on me, and said she would play with it more later (either trichotillomania she doesn't especially like playing with other peoples hair, just her own, so I think her being tipsy made her wanna touch me more and I had mentioned to her that I'd like if she played with my hair so I think that's why she started).
I always try and tell her how pretty she is when I can work up the courage, I was telling her a lot yesterday and she would tell me she loves me so much, appreciates me so much, and said a few times that I'm the bestest and would get all gushy about it.
There was one time when Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait came on the radio and we both said how much we loved it, then sang it together. The next time it came on she got really excited and said "it's our song!" and gave me that cute, excited smile which made me have a gay little heart attack. It came on again a couple days later while we were hanging out outside my house with the puppies, and she said "it's my song!" Which hurt a little but we both sang along and she danced with a puppy while I danced with my 100 lb dog lol. We always sit as close as possible or stand really close so we are touching, and she asked me a couple weeks ago if I was a hug type of person because she is and really wants to hug me, but didnt wanna make me uncomfortable so she never hugged me. Needless to say we now hug whenever we part ways. She insists on paying for food when we go out, and she has been able to visit her bf twice in rehab which she has had me come along both times because she didnt want to do the drive alone. The first visit she talked to me more than him, and the second time we were cracking jokes and stuff while he just was sorta forgotten. She isnt a bad girlfriend to him, actually way more than he deserves, I just feel like she is more comfortable around me than him maybe. She told me she really really wants me to go with her on the 29th for his graduation to pick him up, or stay up there in a hotel. Which it will be the first time in 2 months he has real freedom and it makes me feel really special that she still wants me to go cause I'd figure they want to be all coupley and alone, apparently she doesn't though. Another thing is whenever I talk to her about fucked up things my family does she gets SO pissed and says how I don't deserve it. When I told her about my ex she actually listened and gave good, not so typical advice, and made sure I knew she didn't want me to feel so worthless and shitty then took me to McDonalds and we both ate fries (a little thing we do) to help cheer me up. When I talked about my dog I had half my life passing she was patient and caring and actually understood how not silly it was to be heartbroken and told me about her cat that she had since she was little passing away to let me know I wasn't alone. She's told me deeply personal things, struggles and secrets and we are SO close and haven't even been friends 2 months. My family all thinks there's more going on between me and her, and I wish there was. Really badly. 
I don't know if I'm reading too far into it, if she just really platonically likes me and that's why she only ever hangs out with me and never her other friends, or if she has feelings for me and doesn't know how to handle them because she is 1. Christain (I'm a Christain too which she knows) 2. in a relationship 3. never dated a girl and is scared 4. doesn't think I'd date her because she has a son and I'm just 19 and assumes a kid will scare me away from love. Another possibility is she isn't straight, does like me, and I feel like this is shallow and naive of me to say, but maybe doesn't realize she has romantic feelings for me? Which I hate to say because I don't think I'm all that wonderful or whatever, but I feel like it's a possibility.
Another thing I feel is that she knows I'm gay, and doesnt want to be inappropriate or disrespectful while in a relationship. So snuggling, playing with each others hair, sleeping in the same bed, taking care of her when she doesnt feel good, going out to eat alone and going to movies with her and her son, coming to see me whenever she has a free minute and paying when we go out to eat, always being really sweet and buying me like hot chocolate when she goes to Starbucks when I say I don't want any cause I don't want her spending all her money on me, going out of the way and using a lot of gas (she has an older car) while tight on money to see me for even a couple minutes, and she always takes a ton of videos of me whenever we are on the road to see her bf.. all the little things we do, it would DEFINITELY be inappropriate if I was a guy. I know it's different cause we are girls, and friends, but she is smart and witty and respectful and she has to see that with me being gay and always telling her how gorgeous and kind hearted and deserving she is, she has to see something inappropriate about it all right? 
I really dont know what to do or think about the situation. I just hope and pray she feels the same way.
Thanks for reading all this and for any advice!
submitted by TwilightMountain to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.02.18 02:43 TwilightMountain I can't tell if my friend is straight or is actually questioning, and I need advice cause I'm falling for her really fast

This is going to be pretty long but I could use all the help I can get! I know there's an age difference, I've given the entire thing so much thought and at the end of the day I'd do just about anything to be with her and the 8 years difference doesn't matter to me.
I (f19) have a friend (f27) who I'm starting to fall for really really fast. She knows I'm a lesbian. She has a boyfriend of almost 2 years who lies, manipulates and abuses her, also a drug addict since they knew eachother in high school but he is in rehab upstate about 3 hours away right now. He is coming home for a few days on the 29th of this month.
Her and I started texting a lot and hanging out after I rode with her to drop him off at rehab around the 28th of this past December. Now we see eachother whenever we can. She has a 7 year old son with her ex husband that I absolutely adore, and he really likes me too.
She stops by my house so we can sit in her car and talk whenever she gets off work early enough or doesn't have her son, my dog recently had puppies so whenever she stops by I bring a puppy out to her car and she holds it and stuff til she has to leave. I know she is in love with the puppies but I also get the feeling she uses wanting to see the puppies as an excuse to see me more? A few weeks ago we were texting and she told me she has kissed a few girls before cause she got curious, and mentioned how her bf likes to joke that she's bisexual. She never clarified though, and I always assume she is straight because she's only dated guys and only kissed a few girls saying "everyone gets curious at some point" which I guess she's right. She is extremely loyal to whoever she is with though, staying with her ex husband until after he physically abused her one day and already was talking to her current bf (platonically because she didnt want to be inappropriate, although she knew he liked her). Right now she is sending her bf gifts and buying him cigarettes while in rehab, and trying to figure out a place for him to stay while he comes and visits for a few days. She went as far as to take a couple days off work for the week he is out (she already has weekends off, so she has 4 days off total) so they can spend more time together. And right now she is thinking about maybe going upstate and getting a hotel and rental car for those days instead of him coming down and visiting. She is really bending over backwards to figure things out for him. Not to mention he racked up $12-14,000 in credit card debt that she is paying off alone. He has been caught stealing and been arrested while her son was with them, and it almost caused her sons dad to take her to court to get primary custody cause he found out. Her bf has also wrecked and totaled her car while high. I should mention she is not involved in drugs or criminal activity at all, she has only ever smoked pot, gone to college to study criminal psychology, always had a steady job and a good home. She just has a really bad taste in guys and thinks she deserves this shitty treatment. She told me recently if her bf gets involved in drugs again she doesnt want to but she will have to break things off with him cause she has only ever enabled him and she has a son she has to worry about and put first. Now it gets to where I'm confused. Because I assume she is straight, yet she comes and sees me whenever she can and ALWAYS invites me to go out with her whenever she goes out to eat or do anything. Recently I've started spending the entire weekend at her house, or sometimes even spending the night in the middle of her workweek. I'll sleep in the bed with her and her son. He has his own room, he just likes to sleep in her bed. So she sleeps on one side, I sleep on the other, and her son sleeps between us laying the opposite way so his head is at our feet. Anyways, I spent this past weekend at her house and I woke up every night numerous times because she was laying right up against me, sometimes with her arm or legs on top of me. She warned me she was a bed hog, I really don't mind, but she stayed on her side of the bed the first weekend I spent the night. Other times I'll wake up and she will be laying face to face with me, as close as possible and sorta snuggling with me. Idk if she is just gravitating to my body heat (she's always cold)or if she is purposefully doing it. She has trichotillomania (where people pull out hair, or play with their hair as a comfort thing) and so she loves when I play with her hair so I do it whenever we get the chance. She told me I could play with her hair if I woke up in the middle of the night too, cause it helps relax me, so I'll wake up with my hand in her hair and her scooting closer to me. Last night she wasnt feeling well and layed down, and so I was playing with her hair and she was cold so I covered her up. She kept scooting closer to me, saying she couldn't get comfortable, then she rolled over to face me and we were so close we were basically snuggling. I had one hand in her hair kinda massaging her scalp, and told her I could rub her back too if she wanted which she did so we were even closer. She kept moving her legs til our feet were touching. Whenever we brush feet by accident she teases and says "it's okay I like playing footsies" then laughing and giving me a goofy ass smile that kills me. 
We had made plans to go to her cousins house after brunch, she wanted coffee and he wasnt home yet so we went back to her house for a little bit to wait on him to get home before we headed that way. We both ended up laying down and I was playing with her hair for a good half hour. We had to leave soon so she rolled over on her back basically on top of me to stretch and put her arm over me and just lay like that, it was super comfortable. I ended up getting enough courage to put my arm around her waist. We were snuggling like that for about 10 minutes til her son needed help with something and she had to roll back over and away from me. Her son was pushing her buttons and she playfully joked to him "boy I'm gonna slap you" and I said "she says that to me all the time dont worry about it" and laughed and looked up at her and she gave me a little pop on the cheek. So of course I did it back, and then a wrestling match/slapping war ensued where we were trying to give light little smacks on eachother cheeks. Her son was doing it too, so we were all on her bed wrestling and me and her ended up trying to block each others hands and ended up holding hands. I started to win so she got on top of me and started straddling me the majority of the time, pinning me down and grabbing my hands and wrists and stuff. Idk I felt like she was on top of me a lottttt and just sitting on top of me staring at me, it felt more than friendly.
On valentines day she invited me to go to the movies and watch the new sonic movie with her and her son, of course I wanted to. We didnt get the tickets in time so instead the 3 of us went out to eat at a restaurant and she had a couple beers and whenever she gets a little tipsy she touches me a lot more. We went and saw the movie Saturday instead and whenever a funny part would happen she would laugh and look over at me and kinda stare to see if I was laughing too. Like holding the stare longer than normal if that makes sense.
Then on Sunday morning we went to brunch (she said brunch is the only acceptable time to drink alcohol during the day lol) and had 3 mimosas, which she is a lightweight and it made her pretty tipsy. We went to Walgreens to get cold medicine and she was looking at it and kinds fell into me, then just stayed that way leaning on me. When we came back out to the car I had hid her cigarettes, so she climbed over on me and was looking for them, then was like hugging me and caressing my face playfully pouting for them back. I gave them back and she said "this is actually comfortable" so kept her head on my shoulder and her hand on my face for another minute or so. She also started playing with my hair saying it was pretty and likes how long hair looks on me, and said she would play with it more later (either trichotillomania she doesn't especially like playing with other peoples hair, just her own, so I think her being tipsy made her wanna touch me more and I had mentioned to her that I'd like if she played with my hair so I think that's why she started).
I always try and tell her how pretty she is when I can work up the courage, I was telling her a lot yesterday and she would tell me she loves me so much, appreciates me so much, and said a few times that I'm the bestest and would get all gushy about it.
There was one time when Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait came on the radio and we both said how much we loved it, then sang it together. The next time it came on she got really excited and said "it's our song!" and gave me that cute, excited smile which made me have a gay little heart attack. It came on again a couple days later while we were hanging out outside my house with the puppies, and she said "it's my song!" Which hurt a little but we both sang along and she danced with a puppy while I danced with my 100 lb dog lol. We always sit as close as possible or stand really close so we are touching, and she asked me a couple weeks ago if I was a hug type of person because she is and really wants to hug me, but didnt wanna make me uncomfortable so she never hugged me. Needless to say we now hug whenever we part ways. She insists on paying for food when we go out, and she has been able to visit her bf twice in rehab which she has had me come along both times because she didnt want to do the drive alone. The first visit she talked to me more than him, and the second time we were cracking jokes and stuff while he just was sorta forgotten. She isnt a bad girlfriend to him, actually way more than he deserves, I just feel like she is more comfortable around me than him maybe. She told me she really really wants me to go with her on the 29th for his graduation to pick him up, or stay up there in a hotel. Which it will be the first time in 2 months he has real freedom and it makes me feel really special that she still wants me to go cause I'd figure they want to be all coupley and alone, apparently she doesn't though. Another thing is whenever I talk to her about fucked up things my family does she gets SO pissed and says how I don't deserve it. When I told her about my ex she actually listened and gave good, not so typical advice, and made sure I knew she didn't want me to feel so worthless and shitty then took me to McDonalds and we both ate fries (a little thing we do) to help cheer me up. When I talked about my dog I had half my life passing she was patient and caring and actually understood how not silly it was to be heartbroken and told me about her cat that she had since she was little passing away to let me know I wasn't alone. She's told me deeply personal things, struggles and secrets and we are SO close and haven't even been friends 2 months. My family all thinks there's more going on between me and her, and I wish there was. Really badly. 
I don't know if I'm reading too far into it, if she just really platonically likes me and that's why she only ever hangs out with me and never her other friends, or if she has feelings for me and doesn't know how to handle them because she is 1. Christain (I'm a Christain too which she knows) 2. in a relationship 3. never dated a girl and is scared 4. doesn't think I'd date her because she has a son and I'm just 19 and assumes a kid will scare me away from love. Another possibility is she isn't straight, does like me, and I feel like this is shallow and naive of me to say, but maybe doesn't realize she has romantic feelings for me? Which I hate to say because I don't think I'm all that wonderful or whatever, but I feel like it's a possibility.
Another thing I feel is that she knows I'm gay, and doesnt want to be inappropriate or disrespectful while in a relationship. So snuggling, playing with each others hair, sleeping in the same bed, taking care of her when she doesnt feel good, going out to eat alone and going to movies with her and her son, coming to see me whenever she has a free minute and paying when we go out to eat, always being really sweet and buying me like hot chocolate when she goes to Starbucks when I say I don't want any cause I don't want her spending all her money on me, going out of the way and using a lot of gas (she has an older car) while tight on money to see me for even a couple minutes, and she always takes a ton of videos of me whenever we are on the road to see her bf.. all the little things we do, it would DEFINITELY be inappropriate if I was a guy. I know it's different cause we are girls, and friends, but she is smart and witty and respectful and she has to see that with me being gay and always telling her how gorgeous and kind hearted and deserving she is, she has to see something inappropriate about it all right? 
I really dont know what to do or think about the situation. I just hope and pray she feels the same way.
Thanks for reading all this and for any advice!
submitted by TwilightMountain to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.02.17 23:33 TwilightMountain I cant tell if my friend is straight or actually questioning, and I need advice because I'm falling for her really really fast

This is going to be pretty long but I could use all the help I can get! I know there's an age difference, I've given the entire thing so much thought and at the end of the day I'd do just about anything to be with her and the 8 years difference doesn't matter to me.
I (f19) have a friend (f27) who I'm starting to fall for really really fast. She knows I'm a lesbian. She has a boyfriend of almost 2 years who lies, manipulates and abuses her, also a drug addict since they knew eachother in high school but he is in rehab upstate about 3 hours away right now. He is coming home for a few days on the 29th of this month.
Her and I started texting a lot and hanging out after I rode with her to drop him off at rehab around the 28th of this past December. Now we see eachother whenever we can. She has a 7 year old son with her ex husband that I absolutely adore, and he really likes me too.
She stops by my house so we can sit in her car and talk whenever she gets off work early enough or doesn't have her son, my dog recently had puppies so whenever she stops by I bring a puppy out to her car and she holds it and stuff til she has to leave. I know she is in love with the puppies but I also get the feeling she uses wanting to see the puppies as an excuse to see me more? A few weeks ago we were texting and she told me she has kissed a few girls before cause she got curious, and mentioned how her bf likes to joke that she's bisexual. She never clarified though, and I always assume she is straight because she's only dated guys and only kissed a few girls saying "everyone gets curious at some point" which I guess she's right. She is extremely loyal to whoever she is with though, staying with her ex husband until after he physically abused her one day and already was talking to her current bf (platonically because she didnt want to be inappropriate, although she knew he liked her). Right now she is sending her bf gifts and buying him cigarettes while in rehab, and trying to figure out a place for him to stay while he comes and visits for a few days. She went as far as to take a couple days off work for the week he is out (she already has weekends off, so she has 4 days off total) so they can spend more time together. And right now she is thinking about maybe going upstate and getting a hotel and rental car for those days instead of him coming down and visiting. She is really bending over backwards to figure things out for him. Not to mention he racked up $12-14,000 in credit card debt that she is paying off alone. He has been caught stealing and been arrested while her son was with them, and it almost caused her sons dad to take her to court to get primary custody cause he found out. Her bf has also wrecked and totaled her car while high. I should mention she is not involved in drugs or criminal activity at all, she has only ever smoked pot, gone to college to study criminal psychology, always had a steady job and a good home. She just has a really bad taste in guys and thinks she deserves this shitty treatment. She told me recently if her bf gets involved in drugs again she doesnt want to but she will have to break things off with him cause she has only ever enabled him and she has a son she has to worry about and put first. Now it gets to where I'm confused. Because I assume she is straight, yet she comes and sees me whenever she can and ALWAYS invites me to go out with her whenever she goes out to eat or do anything. Recently I've started spending the entire weekend at her house, or sometimes even spending the night in the middle of her workweek. I'll sleep in the bed with her and her son. He has his own room, he just likes to sleep in her bed. So she sleeps on one side, I sleep on the other, and her son sleeps between us laying the opposite way so his head is at our feet. Anyways, I spent this past weekend at her house and I woke up every night numerous times because she was laying right up against me, sometimes with her arm or legs on top of me. She warned me she was a bed hog, I really don't mind, but she stayed on her side of the bed the first weekend I spent the night. Other times I'll wake up and she will be laying face to face with me, as close as possible and sorta snuggling with me. Idk if she is just gravitating to my body heat (she's always cold)or if she is purposefully doing it. She has trichotillomania (where people pull out hair, or play with their hair as a comfort thing) and so she loves when I play with her hair so I do it whenever we get the chance. She told me I could play with her hair if I woke up in the middle of the night too, cause it helps relax me, so I'll wake up with my hand in her hair and her scooting closer to me. Last night she wasnt feeling well and layed down, and so I was playing with her hair and she was cold so I covered her up. She kept scooting closer to me, saying she couldn't get comfortable, then she rolled over to face me and we were so close we were basically snuggling. I had one hand in her hair kinda massaging her scalp, and told her I could rub her back too if she wanted which she did so we were even closer. She kept moving her legs til our feet were touching. Whenever we brush feet by accident she teases and says "it's okay I like playing footsies" then laughing and giving me a goofy ass smile that kills me. 
We had made plans to go to her cousins house after brunch, she wanted coffee and he wasnt home yet so we went back to her house for a little bit to wait on him to get home before we headed that way. We both ended up laying down and I was playing with her hair for a good half hour. We had to leave soon so she rolled over on her back basically on top of me to stretch and put her arm over me and just lay like that, it was super comfortable. I ended up getting enough courage to put my arm around her waist. We were snuggling like that for about 10 minutes til her son needed help with something and she had to roll back over and away from me. Her son was pushing her buttons and she playfully joked to him "boy I'm gonna slap you" and I said "she says that to me all the time dont worry about it" and laughed and looked up at her and she gave me a little pop on the cheek. So of course I did it back, and then a wrestling match/slapping war ensued where we were trying to give light little smacks on eachother cheeks. Her son was doing it too, so we were all on her bed wrestling and me and her ended up trying to block each others hands and ended up holding hands. I started to win so she got on top of me and started straddling me the majority of the time, pinning me down and grabbing my hands and wrists and stuff. Idk I felt like she was on top of me a lottttt and just sitting on top of me staring at me, it felt more than friendly.
On valentines day she invited me to go to the movies and watch the new sonic movie with her and her son, of course I wanted to. We didnt get the tickets in time so instead the 3 of us went out to eat at a restaurant and she had a couple beers and whenever she gets a little tipsy she touches me a lot more. We went and saw the movie Saturday instead and whenever a funny part would happen she would laugh and look over at me and kinda stare to see if I was laughing too. Like holding the stare longer than normal if that makes sense.
Then on Sunday morning we went to brunch (she said brunch is the only acceptable time to drink alcohol during the day lol) and had 3 mimosas, which she is a lightweight and it made her pretty tipsy. We went to Walgreens to get cold medicine and she was looking at it and kinds fell into me, then just stayed that way leaning on me. When we came back out to the car I had hid her cigarettes, so she climbed over on me and was looking for them, then was like hugging me and caressing my face playfully pouting for them back. I gave them back and she said "this is actually comfortable" so kept her head on my shoulder and her hand on my face for another minute or so. She also started playing with my hair saying it was pretty and likes how long hair looks on me, and said she would play with it more later (either trichotillomania she doesn't especially like playing with other peoples hair, just her own, so I think her being tipsy made her wanna touch me more and I had mentioned to her that I'd like if she played with my hair so I think that's why she started).
I always try and tell her how pretty she is when I can work up the courage, I was telling her a lot yesterday and she would tell me she loves me so much, appreciates me so much, and said a few times that I'm the bestest and would get all gushy about it.
There was one time when Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait came on the radio and we both said how much we loved it, then sang it together. The next time it came on she got really excited and said "it's our song!" and gave me that cute, excited smile which made me have a gay little heart attack. It came on again a couple days later while we were hanging out outside my house with the puppies, and she said "it's my song!" Which hurt a little but we both sang along and she danced with a puppy while I danced with my 100 lb dog lol. We always sit as close as possible or stand really close so we are touching, and she asked me a couple weeks ago if I was a hug type of person because she is and really wants to hug me, but didnt wanna make me uncomfortable so she never hugged me. Needless to say we now hug whenever we part ways. She insists on paying for food when we go out, and she has been able to visit her bf twice in rehab which she has had me come along both times because she didnt want to do the drive alone. The first visit she talked to me more than him, and the second time we were cracking jokes and stuff while he just was sorta forgotten. She isnt a bad girlfriend to him, actually way more than he deserves, I just feel like she is more comfortable around me than him maybe. She told me she really really wants me to go with her on the 29th for his graduation to pick him up, or stay up there in a hotel. Which it will be the first time in 2 months he has real freedom and it makes me feel really special that she still wants me to go cause I'd figure they want to be all coupley and alone, apparently she doesn't though. Another thing is whenever I talk to her about fucked up things my family does she gets SO pissed and says how I don't deserve it. When I told her about my ex she actually listened and gave good, not so typical advice, and made sure I knew she didn't want me to feel so worthless and shitty then took me to McDonalds and we both ate fries (a little thing we do) to help cheer me up. When I talked about my dog I had half my life passing she was patient and caring and actually understood how not silly it was to be heartbroken and told me about her cat that she had since she was little passing away to let me know I wasn't alone. She's told me deeply personal things, struggles and secrets and we are SO close and haven't even been friends 2 months. My family all thinks there's more going on between me and her, and I wish there was. Really badly. 
I don't know if I'm reading too far into it, if she just really platonically likes me and that's why she only ever hangs out with me and never her other friends, or if she has feelings for me and doesn't know how to handle them because she is 1. Christain (I'm a Christain too which she knows) 2. in a relationship 3. never dated a girl and is scared 4. doesn't think I'd date her because she has a son and I'm just 19 and assumes a kid will scare me away from love. Another possibility is she isn't straight, does like me, and I feel like this is shallow and naive of me to say, but maybe doesn't realize she has romantic feelings for me? Which I hate to say because I don't think I'm all that wonderful or whatever, but I feel like it's a possibility.
Another thing I feel is that she knows I'm gay, and doesnt want to be inappropriate or disrespectful while in a relationship. So snuggling, playing with each others hair, sleeping in the same bed, taking care of her when she doesnt feel good, going out to eat alone and going to movies with her and her son, coming to see me whenever she has a free minute and paying when we go out to eat, always being really sweet and buying me like hot chocolate when she goes to Starbucks when I say I don't want any cause I don't want her spending all her money on me, going out of the way and using a lot of gas (she has an older car) while tight on money to see me for even a couple minutes, and she always takes a ton of videos of me whenever we are on the road to see her bf.. all the little things we do, it would DEFINITELY be inappropriate if I was a guy. I know it's different cause we are girls, and friends, but she is smart and witty and respectful and she has to see that with me being gay and always telling her how gorgeous and kind hearted and deserving she is, she has to see something inappropriate about it all right? 
I really dont know what to do or think about the situation. I just hope and pray she feels the same way.
Thanks for reading all this and for any advice!
submitted by TwilightMountain to LgbtqAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.02.17 23:30 TwilightMountain I can't tell if my friend is straight or actually questioning, I really need advice cause I'm falling for her SO fast

This is going to be pretty long but I could use all the help I can get! I know there's an age difference, I've given the entire thing so much thought and at the end of the day I'd do just about anything to be with her and the 8 years difference doesn't matter to me.
I (f19) have a friend (f27) who I'm starting to fall for really really fast. She knows I'm a lesbian. She has a boyfriend of almost 2 years who lies, manipulates and abuses her, also a drug addict since they knew eachother in high school but he is in rehab upstate about 3 hours away right now. He is coming home for a few days on the 29th of this month.
Her and I started texting a lot and hanging out after I rode with her to drop him off at rehab around the 28th of this past December. Now we see eachother whenever we can. She has a 7 year old son with her ex husband that I absolutely adore, and he really likes me too.
She stops by my house so we can sit in her car and talk whenever she gets off work early enough or doesn't have her son, my dog recently had puppies so whenever she stops by I bring a puppy out to her car and she holds it and stuff til she has to leave. I know she is in love with the puppies but I also get the feeling she uses wanting to see the puppies as an excuse to see me more?
A few weeks ago we were texting and she told me she has kissed a few girls before cause she got curious, and mentioned how her bf likes to joke that she's bisexual. She never clarified though, and I always assume she is straight because she's only dated guys and only kissed a few girls saying "everyone gets curious at some point" which I guess she's right. She is extremely loyal to whoever she is with though, staying with her ex husband until after he physically abused her one day and already was talking to her current bf (platonically because she didnt want to be inappropriate, although she knew he liked her). Right now she is sending her bf gifts and buying him cigarettes while in rehab, and trying to figure out a place for him to stay while he comes and visits for a few days. She went as far as to take a couple days off work for the week he is out (she already has weekends off, so she has 4 days off total) so they can spend more time together. And right now she is thinking about maybe going upstate and getting a hotel and rental car for those days instead of him coming down and visiting. She is really bending over backwards to figure things out for him. Not to mention he racked up $12-14,000 in credit card debt that she is paying off alone. He has been caught stealing and been arrested while her son was with them, and it almost caused her sons dad to take her to court to get primary custody cause he found out. Her bf has also wrecked and totaled her car while high. I should mention she is not involved in drugs or criminal activity at all, she has only ever smoked pot, gone to college to study criminal psychology, always had a steady job and a good home. She just has a really bad taste in guys and thinks she deserves this shitty treatment. She told me recently if her bf gets involved in drugs again she doesnt want to but she will have to break things off with him cause she has only ever enabled him and she has a son she has to worry about and put first. Now it gets to where I'm confused. Because I assume she is straight, yet she comes and sees me whenever she can and ALWAYS invites me to go out with her whenever she goes out to eat or do anything. Recently I've started spending the entire weekend at her house, or sometimes even spending the night in the middle of her workweek. I'll sleep in the bed with her and her son. He has his own room, he just likes to sleep in her bed. So she sleeps on one side, I sleep on the other, and her son sleeps between us laying the opposite way so his head is at our feet. Anyways, I spent this past weekend at her house and I woke up every night numerous times because she was laying right up against me, sometimes with her arm or legs on top of me. She warned me she was a bed hog, I really don't mind, but she stayed on her side of the bed the first weekend I spent the night. Other times I'll wake up and she will be laying face to face with me, as close as possible and sorta snuggling with me. Idk if she is just gravitating to my body heat (she's always cold)or if she is purposefully doing it. She has trichotillomania (where people pull out hair, or play with their hair as a comfort thing) and so she loves when I play with her hair so I do it whenever we get the chance. She told me I could play with her hair if I woke up in the middle of the night too, cause it helps relax me, so I'll wake up with my hand in her hair and her scooting closer to me. Last night she wasnt feeling well and layed down, and so I was playing with her hair and she was cold so I covered her up. She kept scooting closer to me, saying she couldn't get comfortable, then she rolled over to face me and we were so close we were basically snuggling. I had one hand in her hair kinda massaging her scalp, and told her I could rub her back too if she wanted which she did so we were even closer. She kept moving her legs til our feet were touching. Whenever we brush feet by accident she teases and says "it's okay I like playing footsies" then laughing and giving me a goofy ass smile that kills me. 
We had made plans to go to her cousins house after brunch, she wanted coffee and he wasnt home yet so we went back to her house for a little bit to wait on him to get home before we headed that way. We both ended up laying down and I was playing with her hair for a good half hour. We had to leave soon so she rolled over on her back basically on top of me to stretch and put her arm over me and just lay like that, it was super comfortable. I ended up getting enough courage to put my arm around her waist. We were snuggling like that for about 10 minutes til her son needed help with something and she had to roll back over and away from me. Her son was pushing her buttons and she playfully joked to him "boy I'm gonna slap you" and I said "she says that to me all the time dont worry about it" and laughed and looked up at her and she gave me a little pop on the cheek. So of course I did it back, and then a wrestling match/slapping war ensued where we were trying to give light little smacks on eachother cheeks. Her son was doing it too, so we were all on her bed wrestling and me and her ended up trying to block each others hands and ended up holding hands. I started to win so she got on top of me and started straddling me the majority of the time, pinning me down and grabbing my hands and wrists and stuff. Idk I felt like she was on top of me a lottttt and just sitting on top of me staring at me, it felt more than friendly.
On valentines day she invited me to go to the movies and watch the new sonic movie with her and her son, of course I wanted to. We didnt get the tickets in time so instead the 3 of us went out to eat at a restaurant and she had a couple beers and whenever she gets a little tipsy she touches me a lot more. We went and saw the movie Saturday instead and whenever a funny part would happen she would laugh and look over at me and kinda stare to see if I was laughing too. Like holding the stare longer than normal if that makes sense.
Then on Sunday morning we went to brunch (she said brunch is the only acceptable time to drink alcohol during the day lol) and had 3 mimosas, which she is a lightweight and it made her pretty tipsy. We went to Walgreens to get cold medicine and she was looking at it and kinds fell into me, then just stayed that way leaning on me. When we came back out to the car I had hid her cigarettes, so she climbed over on me and was looking for them, then was like hugging me and caressing my face playfully pouting for them back. I gave them back and she said "this is actually comfortable" so kept her head on my shoulder and her hand on my face for another minute or so. She also started playing with my hair saying it was pretty and likes how long hair looks on me, and said she would play with it more later (either trichotillomania she doesn't especially like playing with other peoples hair, just her own, so I think her being tipsy made her wanna touch me more and I had mentioned to her that I'd like if she played with my hair so I think that's why she started).
I always try and tell her how pretty she is when I can work up the courage, I was telling her a lot yesterday and she would tell me she loves me so much, appreciates me so much, and said a few times that I'm the bestest and would get all gushy about it.
There was one time when Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait came on the radio and we both said how much we loved it, then sang it together. The next time it came on she got really excited and said "it's our song!" and gave me that cute, excited smile which made me have a gay little heart attack. It came on again a couple days later while we were hanging out outside my house with the puppies, and she said "it's my song!" Which hurt a little but we both sang along and she danced with a puppy while I danced with my 100 lb dog lol. We always sit as close as possible or stand really close so we are touching, and she asked me a couple weeks ago if I was a hug type of person because she is and really wants to hug me, but didnt wanna make me uncomfortable so she never hugged me. Needless to say we now hug whenever we part ways. She insists on paying for food when we go out, and she has been able to visit her bf twice in rehab which she has had me come along both times because she didnt want to do the drive alone. The first visit she talked to me more than him, and the second time we were cracking jokes and stuff while he just was sorta forgotten. She isnt a bad girlfriend to him, actually way more than he deserves, I just feel like she is more comfortable around me than him maybe. She told me she really really wants me to go with her on the 29th for his graduation to pick him up, or stay up there in a hotel. Which it will be the first time in 2 months he has real freedom and it makes me feel really special that she still wants me to go cause I'd figure they want to be all coupley and alone, apparently she doesn't though. 
Another thing is whenever I talk to her about fucked up things my family does she gets SO pissed and says how I don't deserve it. When I told her about my ex she actually listened and gave good, not so typical advice, and made sure I knew she didn't want me to feel so worthless and shitty then took me to McDonalds and we both ate fries (a little thing we do) to help cheer me up. When I talked about my dog I had half my life passing she was patient and caring and actually understood how not silly it was to be heartbroken and told me about her cat that she had since she was little passing away to let me know I wasn't alone. She's told me deeply personal things, struggles and secrets and we are SO close and haven't even been friends 2 months. My family all thinks there's more going on between me and her, and I wish there was. Really badly.
I don't know if I'm reading too far into it, if she just really platonically likes me and that's why she only ever hangs out with me and never her other friends, or if she has feelings for me and doesn't know how to handle them because she is 1. Christain (I'm a Christain too which she knows) 2. in a relationship 3. never dated a girl and is scared 4. doesn't think I'd date her because she has a son and I'm just 19 and assumes a kid will scare me away from love. Another possibility is she isn't straight, does like me, and I feel like this is shallow and naive of me to say, but maybe doesn't realize she has romantic feelings for me? Which I hate to say because I don't think I'm all that wonderful or whatever, but I feel like it's a possibility.
Another thing I feel is that she knows I'm gay, and doesnt want to be inappropriate or disrespectful while in a relationship. So snuggling, playing with each others hair, sleeping in the same bed, taking care of her when she doesnt feel good, going out to eat alone and going to movies with her and her son, coming to see me whenever she has a free minute and paying when we go out to eat, always being really sweet and buying me like hot chocolate when she goes to Starbucks when I say I don't want any cause I don't want her spending all her money on me, going out of the way and using a lot of gas (she has an older car) while tight on money to see me for even a couple minutes, and taking videos and pictures of me whenever we are on the road to visit her bf.. all the little things we do, it would DEFINITELY be inappropriate if I was a guy. I know it's different cause we are girls, and friends, but she is smart and witty and respectful and she has to see that with me being gay and always telling her how gorgeous and kind hearted and deserving she is, she has to see something inappropriate about it all right? 
I really dont know what to do or think about the situation. I just hope and pray she feels the same way.
Thanks for reading all this and for any advice!
submitted by TwilightMountain to lgbtadvice [link] [comments]


2020.02.17 23:27 TwilightMountain I can't tell if my friend is actually straight or questioning, I really need help cause I'm falling for her

This is going to be pretty long but I could use all the help I can get! I know there's an age difference, I've given the entire thing so much thought and at the end of the day I'd do just about anything to be with her and the 8 years difference doesn't matter to me.
I (f19) have a friend (f27) who I'm starting to fall for really really fast. She knows I'm a lesbian. She has a boyfriend of almost 2 years who lies, manipulates and abuses her, also a drug addict since they knew eachother in high school but he is in rehab upstate about 3 hours away right now. He is coming home for a few days on the 29th of this month.
Her and I started texting a lot and hanging out after I rode with her to drop him off at rehab around the 28th of this past December. Now we see eachother whenever we can. She has a 7 year old son with her ex husband that I absolutely adore, and he really likes me too.
She stops by my house so we can sit in her car and talk whenever she gets off work early enough or doesn't have her son, my dog recently had puppies so whenever she stops by I bring a puppy out to her car and she holds it and stuff til she has to leave. I know she is in love with the puppies but I also get the feeling she uses wanting to see the puppies as an excuse to see me more? A few weeks ago we were texting and she told me she has kissed a few girls before cause she got curious, and mentioned how her bf likes to joke that she's bisexual. She never clarified though, and I always assume she is straight because she's only dated guys and only kissed a few girls saying "everyone gets curious at some point" which I guess she's right. She is extremely loyal to whoever she is with though, staying with her ex husband until after he physically abused her one day and already was talking to her current bf (platonically because she didnt want to be inappropriate, although she knew he liked her). Right now she is sending her bf gifts and buying him cigarettes while in rehab, and trying to figure out a place for him to stay while he comes and visits for a few days. She went as far as to take a couple days off work for the week he is out (she already has weekends off, so she has 4 days off total) so they can spend more time together. And right now she is thinking about maybe going upstate and getting a hotel and rental car for those days instead of him coming down and visiting. She is really bending over backwards to figure things out for him. Not to mention he racked up $12-14,000 in credit card debt that she is paying off alone. He has been caught stealing and been arrested while her son was with them, and it almost caused her sons dad to take her to court to get primary custody cause he found out. Her bf has also wrecked and totaled her car while high. I should mention she is not involved in drugs or criminal activity at all, she has only ever smoked pot, gone to college to study criminal psychology, always had a steady job and a good home. She just has a really bad taste in guys and thinks she deserves this shitty treatment. She told me recently if her bf gets involved in drugs again she doesnt want to but she will have to break things off with him cause she has only ever enabled him and she has a son she has to worry about and put first. Now it gets to where I'm confused. Because I assume she is straight, yet she comes and sees me whenever she can and ALWAYS invites me to go out with her whenever she goes out to eat or do anything. Recently I've started spending the entire weekend at her house, or sometimes even spending the night in the middle of her workweek. I'll sleep in the bed with her and her son. He has his own room, he just likes to sleep in her bed. So she sleeps on one side, I sleep on the other, and her son sleeps between us laying the opposite way so his head is at our feet. Anyways, I spent this past weekend at her house and I woke up every night numerous times because she was laying right up against me, sometimes with her arm or legs on top of me. She warned me she was a bed hog, I really don't mind, but she stayed on her side of the bed the first weekend I spent the night. Other times I'll wake up and she will be laying face to face with me, as close as possible and sorta snuggling with me. Idk if she is just gravitating to my body heat (she's always cold)or if she is purposefully doing it. She has trichotillomania (where people pull out hair, or play with their hair as a comfort thing) and so she loves when I play with her hair so I do it whenever we get the chance. She told me I could play with her hair if I woke up in the middle of the night too, cause it helps relax me, so I'll wake up with my hand in her hair and her scooting closer to me. Last night she wasnt feeling well and layed down, and so I was playing with her hair and she was cold so I covered her up. She kept scooting closer to me, saying she couldn't get comfortable, then she rolled over to face me and we were so close we were basically snuggling. I had one hand in her hair kinda massaging her scalp, and told her I could rub her back too if she wanted which she did so we were even closer. She kept moving her legs til our feet were touching. Whenever we brush feet by accident she teases and says "it's okay I like playing footsies" then laughing and giving me a goofy ass smile that kills me. 
We had made plans to go to her cousins house after brunch, she wanted coffee and he wasnt home yet so we went back to her house for a little bit to wait on him to get home before we headed that way. We both ended up laying down and I was playing with her hair for a good half hour. We had to leave soon so she rolled over on her back basically on top of me to stretch and put her arm over me and just lay like that, it was super comfortable. I ended up getting enough courage to put my arm around her waist. We were snuggling like that for about 10 minutes til her son needed help with something and she had to roll back over and away from me. Her son was pushing her buttons and she playfully joked to him "boy I'm gonna slap you" and I said "she says that to me all the time dont worry about it" and laughed and looked up at her and she gave me a little pop on the cheek. So of course I did it back, and then a wrestling match/slapping war ensued where we were trying to give light little smacks on eachother cheeks. Her son was doing it too, so we were all on her bed wrestling and me and her ended up trying to block each others hands and ended up holding hands. I started to win so she got on top of me and started straddling me the majority of the time, pinning me down and grabbing my hands and wrists and stuff. Idk I felt like she was on top of me a lottttt and just sitting on top of me staring at me, it felt more than friendly.
On valentines day she invited me to go to the movies and watch the new sonic movie with her and her son, of course I wanted to. We didnt get the tickets in time so instead the 3 of us went out to eat at a restaurant and she had a couple beers and whenever she gets a little tipsy she touches me a lot more. We went and saw the movie Saturday instead and whenever a funny part would happen she would laugh and look over at me and kinda stare to see if I was laughing too. Like holding the stare longer than normal if that makes sense.
Then on Sunday morning we went to brunch (she said brunch is the only acceptable time to drink alcohol during the day lol) and had 3 mimosas, which she is a lightweight and it made her pretty tipsy. We went to Walgreens to get cold medicine and she was looking at it and kinds fell into me, then just stayed that way leaning on me. When we came back out to the car I had hid her cigarettes, so she climbed over on me and was looking for them, then was like hugging me and caressing my face playfully pouting for them back. I gave them back and she said "this is actually comfortable" so kept her head on my shoulder and her hand on my face for another minute or so. She also started playing with my hair saying it was pretty and likes how long hair looks on me, and said she would play with it more later (either trichotillomania she doesn't especially like playing with other peoples hair, just her own, so I think her being tipsy made her wanna touch me more and I had mentioned to her that I'd like if she played with my hair so I think that's why she started).
I always try and tell her how pretty she is when I can work up the courage, I was telling her a lot yesterday and she would tell me she loves me so much, appreciates me so much, and said a few times that I'm the bestest and would get all gushy about it.
There was one time when Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait came on the radio and we both said how much we loved it, then sang it together. The next time it came on she got really excited and said "it's our song!" and gave me that cute, excited smile which made me have a gay little heart attack. It came on again a couple days later while we were hanging out outside my house with the puppies, and she said "it's my song!" Which hurt a little but we both sang along and she danced with a puppy while I danced with my 100 lb dog lol. We always sit as close as possible or stand really close so we are touching, and she asked me a couple weeks ago if I was a hug type of person because she is and really wants to hug me, but didnt wanna make me uncomfortable so she never hugged me. Needless to say we now hug whenever we part ways. She insists on paying for food when we go out, and she has been able to visit her bf twice in rehab which she has had me come along both times because she didnt want to do the drive alone. The first visit she talked to me more than him, and the second time we were cracking jokes and stuff while he just was sorta forgotten. She isnt a bad girlfriend to him, actually way more than he deserves, I just feel like she is more comfortable around me than him maybe. She told me she really really wants me to go with her on the 29th for his graduation to pick him up, or stay up there in a hotel. Which it will be the first time in 2 months he has real freedom and it makes me feel really special that she still wants me to go cause I'd figure they want to be all coupley and alone, apparently she doesn't though. Another thing is whenever I talk to her about fucked up things my family does she gets SO pissed and says how I don't deserve it. When I told her about my ex she actually listened and gave good, not so typical advice, and made sure I knew she didn't want me to feel so worthless and shitty then took me to McDonalds and we both ate fries (a little thing we do) to help cheer me up. When I talked about my dog I had half my life passing she was patient and caring and actually understood how not silly it was to be heartbroken and told me about her cat that she had since she was little passing away to let me know I wasn't alone. She's told me deeply personal things, struggles and secrets and we are SO close and haven't even been friends 2 months. My family all thinks there's more going on between me and her, and I wish there was. Really badly. 
I don't know if I'm reading too far into it, if she just really platonically likes me and that's why she only ever hangs out with me and never her other friends, or if she has feelings for me and doesn't know how to handle them because she is 1. Christain (I'm a Christain too which she knows) 2. in a relationship 3. never dated a girl and is scared 4. doesn't think I'd date her because she has a son and I'm just 19 and assumes a kid will scare me away from love. Another possibility is she isn't straight, does like me, and I feel like this is shallow and naive of me to say, but maybe doesn't realize she has romantic feelings for me? Which I hate to say because I don't think I'm all that wonderful or whatever, but I feel like it's a possibility.
Another thing I feel is that she knows I'm gay, and doesnt want to be inappropriate or disrespectful while in a relationship. So snuggling, playing with each others hair, sleeping in the same bed, taking care of her when she doesnt feel good, going out to eat alone and going to movies with her and her son, coming to see me whenever she has a free minute and paying when we go out to eat, always being really sweet and buying me like hot chocolate when she goes to Starbucks when I say I don't want any cause I don't want her spending all her money on me, going out of the way and using a lot of gas (she has an older car) while tight on money to see me for even a couple minutes, and she always takes a ton of videos of me whenever we are on the road to see her bf.. all the little things we do, it would DEFINITELY be inappropriate if I was a guy. I know it's different cause we are girls, and friends, but she is smart and witty and respectful and she has to see that with me being gay and always telling her how gorgeous and kind hearted and deserving she is, she has to see something inappropriate about it all right? 
I really dont know what to do or think about the situation. I just hope and pray she feels the same way.
Thanks for reading all this and for any advice!
submitted by TwilightMountain to gayadvice [link] [comments]


2020.02.04 01:21 CasaDeFranco My girlfriend is curious about exploring Catholicism - what's the best way to approach this?

My partner is from a Christain non-denomination family and is open to exploring the faith. When we started dating, when it was appropriate I expressed it was important that any children I have are to be raised in the faith.
We've attended mass together and I'd introduced her to a circle of young pretty wholesome Catholic friends and their families - basically to preach Catholicism through practice.
I'm a convert myself, and feel like throwing her into RCIA is too early and not yet appropriate. What books or things can one do that would give her a good understanding of Catholic theology?
Note, she's a Christian but without formation, I could at best describe her as a highly analytical non-practicing Christian, with borderline agnostic elements - as she knows God exists but she has doubts about immaculate conception, etc. She also holds oddly some pretty Catholic views in relation to same-sex marriage, pre-marital sex, etc due to her father.
submitted by CasaDeFranco to Catholicism [link] [comments]


2020.01.30 02:48 ReeceEeding I've been practicing magic my whole life, and I didnt know I was doing it.

Tldr at bottom
I'm sorry to burden anyone who bothers to read this with my crazy rant, but something is telling me to write this so im rolling with it, any advice or feedback would be muchly appreciated.
I was raised in a weird household, my dad is a staunch atheist and doesnt believe in ghosts spirits or anything beyond his own limited perception, however he never spoke about things like that unless asked and never imposed his feelings, bar him refusing to allow me to be christained, he said if I wanted to be a Christian I can make my own mind up when I'm old enough, my mother never speaks about her beliefs but subscribes to a few forms of superstition.
I learned to read at a very young age, reading books aimed at adults at around the age of 6-7, always drawn to fantasy novels, anything with magic or mythical beasts, all the old Norse sagas and the Greek mythologies my family home is a large 4 floor bathstone house built a little over 200 years ago, my family has lived here for generations and plenty of my family has died In there, most recently was shortly before I was born, there was a fire in my house in the night, everyone got out alive apart from my uncle (21 at the time) and my cousin who was 8 at the time. Another uncle lost all the fingers on one had to burns trying to save his son. This event inadvertently lead to my conception as my mothers family lived 3 doors down and took them in, it brought my mother and father together. I know this seems to be going nowhere but bare with. I was born on March 12th, same birthday as my uncle who passed. My grandmother is a very emotional and slightly deluded at times, at some times she mistakes me for Martin as I bare a slight physical appearance but also have inherited some of his unique traits, naturally this made me my nans golden boy from the start. my parents both had children from other relationships before I was born, so I have 3 older half siblings, however I was the only one planned, I once overheard while my dad was drunk, I also have a younger full blood sister; my parents treated us all the same although it was an open secret I was the golden boy, my older brother was the badboy, stealing cars at 13, setting people on fire and being sent to specialist boarding schools (my dad was adamant to keep me and him as far apart as possible so I didnt follow suit, a streetwise older sister who lives on the other side of the country I rarely see but love dearly, my other other sister who helped raised me, shes just plain evil and manipulative, and my sweet hearted strong headed all be it ditsy at times little sister.
Now this soup of a large house, large family of troubled characters, and a curious young boy who just loves to read, allowed me a lot of freedom.
Now we get to what concerns me, I feel different, not like messiah different or chosen by anything, but I've always felt like I had a purpose, I sense things, and trying to explain it is like trying to explain acid while on acid. The best I can do is an anecdote, my best friend is what we refer too as a poon hound, comes from a rich family but works for all he has, drives a badass truck, singer songwriter, master guitarist, his vice is women, they all want a bit of him, so I'm frequently meeting the new girls hes seeing, most are lovely, and I was raised to be friendly and polite to anyone you just met, but the second I looked into this girls eyes something was off, she was stunning, blonde, dark dry humour, the kinda girl I might befriend or even date under other circumstances. But i sit with them with a while, listening more than talking, chopping wood for the fire place and stuff, we get talking eventually I find out shes aware of his other girls he speaks too and was "cool" with it all because He told her the deal from the start (the other two girls live in Spain and Australia respectively) and she was content being fuck buddies, I looked into this girls eyes and seen the eyes of a hundred people just like her I'd encountered in the past, I've never seen auras but my gut instinct is seldom wrong, then something stranged happened, I could literally taste her bitterness on my tongue, shortly after she asked me very casually "so are you team 'her name' or team "Australian" girl" I overly aggressively responded with, "I've been on team 'my best friend' over 12 years, your the third one with the same first name in under a year, your a statistic until you last 3 months" she laughed it off but her body language changed immediately and she felt tired and needed a lie down. I advised constantly about him not being around girls like that (narcissistic sociopath, takes one to know one) as his last girlfriend like that damn near killed him, and I warned him I had a feeling this girl was up to no good, sure enough she used his thumb to unlock his phone and messaged both his foreign flames and very harshly ending communication with both and then proclaiming "I think I need some space" I know it's not well explained here, but I verbally predicted she was gonna do something similar a few days before it happened, but like a good skeptic I believe it was just an educated guess, I know a wolf in sheep clothing when I see one.
So yeah not occult right? Why post my whole life story here? Because things are happening too frequently and specifically to be a coincidence.
My whole life I've been plagued by nightmares, until I hit my late teens and worked out if you smoke enough weed the REM movement slows and prevents dreams, problem solved right? Nope! sleep paralysis and night terrors, now I'm older it isnt so bad but over the past year or 2 I would have vivid dreams that came true the next day.
One such example: I dreamt of walking down the stairs from my room in my parents house (I live with my girlfriend) and glancing at the pile where we keep letters and seeing a brown one with my name, I open it, read the word "tax rebate" then i wake up in the bed of my girlfriends flat, the dream was so vivid I woke up wide awake and confused, grabbed a drink and smoked a ciggie out the window and literally said out loud "I could really use a tax rebate right now" then went back to sleep, next day after work I decide to visit my parent for a couple of hours and do some DIY around the house for them, after grabbing an extra jacket from my room before I left I passed the post tray, and just like the dream I opened it, and aquired my first ever and unexpected tax rebate. Weird but also potentially unexplainable. I got a big family , 16 nieces and nephews and counting, I'm the last to be told anything and am not the best time keeper, I also rarely see my brothers wife, I was aware she was pregnant but I had no idea it was anywhere near due and I had another dream, it the dream another close friend of mine, one I look up to very much and would say is just as much a brother as my half brother is to me even with no blood, appeared to me in a dream on a motorcycle (all hagrid style) and handed me a baby boy in a bundle, and said" this boy is special I need you to look after him" in the dream ot made sense and I took the baby and my friend rode off, I was then awoken by my mother calling to inform me of a new birth in the family, a little boy called Noah (who to his mothers confusion always seems drawn to me) Once again? Weird coincidence? A couple of years ago I got into some nasty business with some Italian guys, I had a dream I bumped into on of them In a tunnel underpass recently, i didnt but our cars met on the exact spot on the road above where the centre of the tunnel would be the very next day.
I've always been very stubborn, analysing and logical, yet after a certain point, anomalies become data, I dont know what magic is but theres something out there we dont understand.
I've started reading into various forms of witchcraft and was surprised to hear of a type of magick that was effectively how I lived my life anyway, chaos magick, this concept made me think about how I've lived my life, always just outside of the spotlight, saying a single word and watching a scenario I've already seen In my own head, adapting every day because I change my work constantly, just throwing to the wall and seeing what sticks.
Alot of the rituals or spells I've done have been successful, however coinciding with the good thing I'd asked for something bad happens.
I dont know what I believe, the closest I think is a different type of energy we dont know how to observe or measure, what I do know is I'm far to curious and daring to know where the line is. TLDR: psychotic rant, with request for advice if shit I shouldn't fuck with, positive advice also welcomed
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2020.01.29 18:36 Chaoticpixe Ripped her heart out and burned it on my alter

Triggers: religion bashing ,(not me),
I am thr one whose jnmil was a druggie and jocasta tendencies. She has a name. Crystal Methodist or CM for short. Thanks for the suggestions everyone. This story takes place before the drugs being brought into my home.
CM was born and raised Jewish but converted to Christainity when dh was around 13. She started going to Pentecostal church and forced everyone in her family to go as well. My jmfil was very noodle spine at that time so he went to keep the peace.
When dh met and married me, he was more religious than he was now but was accepting if other religions. He was at this time still following Christianity and attending the same type of church that his mom was. I was raised in a religiously blended family that DID NOT attend church. I was allowed to make my own mind about church (odd concerning how controlling my jnmom was). We did not attend church bc neither of parents would bow down to the other in this matter. I learned about the primitive Baptist side from my jydad and Pentecostal from my jnmom. My jyaunt taught me about Shamanism, my Moms side was half Cherokee and she learned a lot from their older relatives before they passed. Long story short, I started out following the shamanistic path and evolved to being a pagan. Hubby was aware of this when we met and at first it bothered him but as he got to know me and learned more about my religion he was more open about accepting my religion.
Now, I am very accepting of anyone religion as long as they dont try to shove it down my throat. CM shoves hers down anyone's throat. Big surprise, right? After the birth of lo1, hubby wanted him to be confirmed by his church. I was fine with it and we made a trip up to his moms church one weekend to do this. *that trip is a story in itself and I'll write it tomorrow *
We get there with my parents in tow, confirm lo1 to g-d and everything is hunky dory. Right? You know it wasnt!
The next week dh and I both field phone calls from CM wanting to know when I was being Baptized in her church. She even had dates that it could be done. Ya'll this particular church Baptizes people in a creek. A creek...now I don't swim anywhere that I can't see my feet. There is no way I am getting in one period, not to mention I don't follow that faith. So I informed her that I wasnt getting baptized anywhere but especially not in a creek. She countered with, well we can do it in a booth they use when it is bad weather. Um, Did you miss the part where I said I wasn't getting Baptized? So she goes on this rant of how since we were married i had to do what my husband, the leader in our marriage wanted and since he was of this faith i had to be as well. Remember, she changed faiths and made her spouse go to the church she wanted. I countered her arguement by reminding her that she forced her then spouse to change church's so she was not following her own belief! Her counter to that was, that was before I was saved. Now up until this fiasco I had not told her what my religious affiliation was. She assumed I went to church with dh and I never thought to tell her otherwise.
This went on for weeks and finally I told her that I didnt believe in G-d, jesus or the Bible as she did and to drop the subject. She was so angry she slammed the phone down.
Later that week she called my dh, informed him he needed to divorce that satanist (me) and take her grandbaby away from me before I sacrificed him. Wtf? I am not a satanist, I know a few - they are nu e people and as far as I know they dont sacrifice anything living. Dh replied that I am not a Satanist, I don't sacrifice anything that the worse he has seen is me leaving food offerings to the woodland creatures. She hung up on him. End of story, right?
Wrong. She then called my parents who shut her down by telling her it is none of her business. She then writes a letter to DH and I both and in her letter she tells me ,"you have turned dh against me, ripping my heart out and burning it on your altar. I hope you are happy going to hell"
Dh wrote her back and told her "we will save you a seat in hell".
And we didnt speak to her for about 9 months, until I got pregnant with lo2.
FWIW, dh converted back to Judism not long before lo3 was born. We have allowed our kids to make up their own mind about religion. One follows Judism, one is pagan and another is agnostic. We all blend our religious practices on holy days and enjoy learning different religions.
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2020.01.25 19:31 TWAVE0 i want to move out with my gf but my dad doesnt want me too

i am a 19 year old guy and im dating a 18 year old girl. we have been dating for 2 and a half years and want to move out together. she is going to be going to the same college where i take my online classes. her classes are on campus. the move is only an hour away and i have every conceivable bill already planned out and budgeted with the income we will make. the plan is for me to finish my second year of online college there while she does her first year. the year that i graduate, i will start to work full time. she grew up with a family that barely made it by, so she knows how to save her money too.. i have apartments planned out and even have the floor plans laid out so i know what furniture will go where. i am a christain and she is, well lets say she is open minded to ideas. my christain family knows that and are ok with me dating her. my dad does not want me to move in with her for fear of us sleeping with each other before marriage. as you can assume, that ship has already sailed in the somewhere in the course of 2 and a half years. i plan to propose to her before we move out, and when i told my mother about this, she became very supportive of me. (my parents are divorced). my dad keeps bring up in conversations that i wont be moving out. i dont want to tell him that i want to propose to her, because i want it to be a huge surprise to my family. i dont want to get into an argument with my dad because we are very quick to anger, and our relationship is already kinda weak. i dont know how to get him to be okay with my plan because i do not know what to say to him
TL;DR i want to move out with my girlfriend but my dad doesnt want me too and i do not know how to change his mind
EDIT: added more details on the financial side
submitted by TWAVE0 to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.01.25 18:59 TWAVE0 i want to move out with my girlfriend

i am a 19 year old guy and im dating a 18 year old girl. we have been dating for 2 and a half years and want to move out together. she is going to be going to the same college where i take my online classes. her classes are on campus. the move is only an hour away and i have every conceivable bill already planned out and budgeted. i have apartments planned out and even have the floor plans laid out so i know what furniture will go where. i am a christain and she is, well lets say she is open minded to ideas. my christain family knows that and are ok with me dating her. my dad does not want me to move in with her for fear of us sleeping with each other before marriage. as you can assume, that ship has already sailed in the somewhere in the course of 2 and a half years. i plan to propose to her before we move out, and when i told my mother about this, she became very supportive of me. (my parents are divorced). my dad keeps bring up in conversations that i wont be moving out. i dont want to tell him that i want to propose to her, because i want it to be a huge surprise to my family. i dont want to get into an argument with my dad because we are very quick to anger, and our relationship is already kinda weak. if anyone has any suggestions as to what i should do, i am more than happy to hear them
submitted by TWAVE0 to Advice [link] [comments]


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